


Broken Down Brother- Brother Series Book 2

by DianneRose2016



Series: Brother Series [2]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianneRose2016/pseuds/DianneRose2016
Summary: Clay is back home and recovering from his injuries. Bravo wants to be there for him, but Clay isn't making it so easy for them. When Clay's past and family history stirs up old trauma, the guys are determined to be there to put their new kid brother back together again. The question is, will Clay let them or will he give into the darkness that is calling to him?
Series: Brother Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005924
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Broken Down Brother- Brother Series Book 2

It had been two weeks since Clay had returned home from being captured. He was still in pain, especially his back and his ribs, but he was able to stay awake now. His breathing was still tight and he was going through breathing exercises and treatments to help repair the damage to his lungs. His shoulder would be able to go through PT within the next month as well. Clay did notice that even though he wasn't exhausted all the time, he did tire easily and he couldn't do much in the physical sense. Something as simple as taking a shower and then going to collect the mail took a lot out of him still.

The one thing that had been different for Clay was having visitors. The guys had been back at his place once since he had gotten home. Derek had stopped by a few times on his way in or out for a mission to make sure he had everything he needed. He was also getting multiple texts throughout the week from everyone checking in on him and making sure he was ok. If Clay was being honest, it was a little overwhelming, or a lot overwhelming. Clay was used to being on his own. He had Brian, his only friend, but even Brian knew not to push him too hard or to come by and visit. Clay was used to having no one, even his grandparents. When they were alive, they kept a certain distance from him. Clay knew they loved him and wanted the best for him. They gave him a great life, but they also weren't very warm people. It made sense with how Ash was, Ash wasn't warm and fuzzy either. Growing up that way though meant that Clay didn't know what hugs were or what it felt like to be taken care of when he was sick or hurt. There wasn't anyone to check in on him and make sure he was alright. Now it was like people were coming at him from all angles and it was a lot.

Clay pulled up to St. Arthur's soup kitchen. He hadn't been by in two weeks since he got back. With his arm he wasn't able to help out right now, but he wanted to check in with Father Paul and make sure he was alright. With Father Paul getting older he was having a harder time keeping up with everything and Clay hated that he couldn't be here to help him. Clay walked in and headed towards the back where the very small office was. He saw that Father Paul wasn't there, so he headed into the kitchen. He found him at the counter cutting up some vegetables to get it ready for the dinner rush. Father Paul looked up when he heard someone coming and gave Clay a warm smile.

"Clay my boy. What are you doing here? You should be at home resting." Father Paul said, as he wiped his hands off and pulled a stool over to the counter.

"I'm fine, I can't stay in forever, I need to move around." Clay said with a warm smile.

"Sit, sit. You're injured." Father Paul said, in a tone Clay knew all too well. There was no arguing with him when he was like this.

Clay went and sat down on the stool before giving a look over at Father Paul. "Happy?"

"Very. Now, how are you really? You don't look so hot right now." Father Paul said, pulling over another stool to sit.

"I'm fine. I'm just getting back up on my feet. I have to do some PT for my shoulder, but that's it. How are things here?"

"Everything is fine here. I've got a couple new helpers here to give me a hand. I'm still keeping the doors open. I can survive until you can come back. What happened? Bad mission?"

"Ya, it went south. I'm fine really. Just took a bullet through my shoulder so I have to do some PT. I'm only a little banged up." Clay said, downplaying it. He didn't want Father Paul to worry about him. He also wasn't ready to admit out loud what happened to him.

"I'm glad to hear that you are going to be ok. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'll always be here." Father Paul said warmly, he knew better than to push Clay when he wasn't ready.

"I appreciate it."

"So you never told me, what team did you get picked by?" Father Paul asked with a smile.

"Ah Bravo actually."

"That's amazing, that's the team you wanted. Why don't you sound happy about it?"

They had spoken many times before about how Clay wanted to be on Bravo team. That it was the best team and he really wanted the opportunity to learn from Jason Hayes. Father Paul was concerned that Clay didn't seem excited about landing on the team he was hoping for.

"I'm happy about it, it's just with my arm I can't be doing missions for three months. So it's a little bittersweet I guess. I finally got picked, but I can't go on a mission with them for the next few months. It's just different."

Clay didn't really want to get into his lungs plus how overwhelming it was to be a part of Bravo, even though he wasn't technically a member yet. He was so used to being on his own, having these people now forcing themselves into his life was a lot. It might be too much for him. Clay thought Bravo would be the spot he wanted to be, he thought learning from Jason would be amazing. He didn't know it would come with this much outside contact. Now he wasn't so sure it was worth it. To lose his space and privacy, it was one hell of an ask for him.

"I know it's not how you wanted to start out, it's not a great way to celebrate accomplishing your goals and dreams. It'll feel more real once you are there on a mission with them. You're going to learn a lot and have one hell of a time with them. Being in the teams was the best thing in my life. You'll be excited and happy about it when you are able to be there with them." Father Paul said, confidently.

"I'm sure I will. What's been going on with you?"

The very last thing Clay wanted to do was talk about himself or the team. It was better to get Father Paul talking about everything that had been going on with him and the soup kitchen. Clay spent the next two hours with Father Paul listening to what had been going on before he was getting too tired. He knew he would need to head back home to get some rest before he was too tired to drive. With a quick goodbye and a promise to come by for another visit soon, Clay headed back home. Arriving back home Clay parked his car and headed up to his apartment. His back was killing him and he was really looking forward to taking some of his pain meds and just laying down for a bit. His back was really becoming a problem as it healed. Clay was hoping it wouldn't hurt as much as each day passed, but it was looking like it was hurting more as it healed.

Clay unlocked his door and walked in. The second he walked in he went from being exhausted to being shocked and pissed. There in his home, his home that was locked when he left, was all of Bravo team. They were spread out in his small living room, kitchen area. Some had a drink, Trent was holding one of his books, Sonny was sitting on his couch with his dirty boots up on his coffee table.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Clay demanded, not even bothering to play nice. He was in pain and exhausted.

"It's team night. Where were you?" Sonny asked.

"I was clearly out, hence why my door was locked. How the hell did you even get in here?"

"Out where? You better not be driving with one arm." Sonny said instead of answering.

"How did you get in here?" Clay demanded, looking over at the others to see if they would answer.

"Sonny has a key. He had one made just in case." Ray answered.

"You made a key to my apartment?" Clay said to Sonny. This was insane, this was beyond too much.

"Ya. It's no big deal we all got keys to each other's place. Your movie selection needs some work. What's with all the documentaries and ones in different languages?" Sonny said.

"You got some really old books. Do you put everything in alphabetical order? I mean even the things in your fridge and cupboards are in order." Trent said.

"Don't touch my books, put it back. Sonny, give me the key and everyone else, get the fuck out of my apartment." Clay ordered.

"Whoa, calm down kid." Jason started, but Clay cut him off.

"I'm twenty-seven not a kid. And I don't appreciate the belittlement of being called one."

"That's not what I meant by it at all. Clearly we have gotten off to a bad start. We didn't mean to surprise you, we thought you would be here when we came. It's not uncommon for us to let ourselves into one of our homes if we are meeting there. We should have called first." Jason said calmly.

He could tell Clay was pissed, but he could also see the level of exhaustion and pain in his eyes. Jason knew better than anyone how irritable you can be when you are in the level of pain that Clay was in.

"Every week we all get together for a team night. It's just something we can do to hang out and relax together as brothers. Normally it's going for a beer or playing some golf. We knew you weren't up for anything like that so we thought we would have it here where you could just relax." Ray added calmly.

"That's great for you guys, but I don't have people over. I don't do team building or bonding. I like my space. I like my privacy. I like being alone. If I feel like I want to be social I'll go out on my own to do it. I don't need people invading my home while I'm here or not." Clay said.

"Brock was like that too, but he got used to being in the family. It just takes some time." Trent said.

"I'm not in whatever family you all seem to have." Clay instantly said.

"Ya you are. You're Bravo, that makes you family until death brother." Ray said.

"I'm not Bravo. There isn't any signed paperwork and there won't be until a doctor has cleared me to come back. Right now I'm just a Seal on medical leave. So I will see you in three months at work if I get cleared. There is no reason for you to be coming by. To be texting me every day and calling me every other day. So leave the key you have no right even having and get out." Clay said, once again.

"Now you listen here _kid."_ Sonny started as he got up and was about to get into Clay's face.

Jason quickly stepped in, stopping Sonny from getting into Clay's face. That was not going to help the situation at all. Before he could even say anything though, everyone was shocked when Brock's voice spoke up.

"We'll get out of your hair. You look like you could use some sleep." Brock nodded to Cerberus that was right next to Clay. "I can't always take him on Ops, I normally leave him at home with Katie. If you want though I can leave him here with you when you feel up for some company."

Clay looked down and didn't even realise that Cerberus was not only on his right side, but Clay had been petting him for the past few minutes. Clay didn't even realise he was doing it. Clay had often thought about getting a dog, he always wanted one growing up but it was never allowed. He wasn't allowed to have any pets. Clay just gave a small nod and that was all Brock needed. He got the others moving and they all filed out of the apartment. Cerberus was the last to leave and Clay had to admit, he missed him. Clay briefly thought about maybe now would be the perfect time for him to say fuck it and get a puppy. He always told himself when he was younger that it didn't matter. He didn't need someone to come home to. He didn't need a pet. Then he was busy with work and being away all the time with the military. Now though he had three months off. He could have a puppy house trained during that time and when he had to leave he could have a dog sitter or maybe he could train him to be a military k9. Clay decided he would think about it and see.

Clay let out a sigh as he was finally alone, but he could see the little items out of place. Clay moved slowly, his body was really screaming at him now, as he picked up the items and put them back into place. He was used to having everything in the right place. It had always been like that since he could remember. His grandparents ran a very strict house and he had to make sure his room was always clean and organized. He had to make sure his chores were done and he kept the house in order. After sixteen years of it, it was ingrained into him even to this day. With everything back where it was supposed to be, Clay headed into his bedroom to get some desperately needed sleep.

XXX

"What the fuck was that?" Sonny demanded as he stormed through the front door to Clay's apartment building.

"Calm down Son." Ray immediately said.

"Calm down? That little prick just kicked us out and was talking like we weren't family. After everything we've done for him." Sonny argued.

"We haven't done anything for him Sonny. We went on a mission to rescue him. He didn't ask for us to go and get him. Hell he probably didn't think anyone was coming for him. I guarantee you he appreciates it more than he could possibly say. This has nothing to do with that." Ray said in Clay's defense.

"We did break into his home completely unannounced. I told you he wouldn't be up for much. He was clearly exhausted and in a lot of pain. Pain that will get worse as his back heals, not better." Trent said.

"He didn't have to yell and be an asshole to us." Sonny argued back.

"Because none of us get irritable when we're in pain and exhausted." Jason said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes, leaning against his truck.

"Fine, I'll give him that. But what is that shit about not being family or a part of Bravo?" Sonny asked.

"He's been through a lot, it's natural for him to be doubting if he'll return. To be questioning if he should be returning if he can. He's been through a traumatic experience. He's physically scarred for life. This isn't easy for him and I don't think it's fair for any of us to be judging how he is handling it." Ray said.

"You are a lot." Brock added.

"A lot of what?" Sonny asked.

"Just a lot. You got a big personality. We all got different ones and it takes time to adjust to it. It took me a while to get used to you all and for you to get used to me being quiet. I came from growing up with three older brothers though, Clay doesn't have that." Brock explained as he petted Cerberus' head that was against his leg.

"Brock is right. We all come from family. We all had people in our lives and friends even in the military. None of us know what it's like to start off right out of the gate with people hating you all because of your last name. Clay didn't have siblings, he didn't grow up with family around outside of his grandparents and he only got them until he was sixteen. The only friend he seemed to have in the Navy was Brian and he lost him not even two months ago. He's going to need some time to get used to having people there for him." Jason said.

"And that is before you factor in him being abandoned in a war zone by a team. The kid is gonna have some trust issues and he's naturally going to assume any joking around or teasing we do with him is serious. We gotta be careful with what we say to him for a little while. Until he gets used to us and how we interact." Ray added.

"So from now on let's give him some space. We all don't need to be texting and calling him every day. We can take turns with it if you want or just one or two of us reaching out to him every few days. We don't need to crowd him, but I also want to make sure he knows that we are there for him still. I don't care if the paperwork is signed or not, he's still Bravo." Jason said.

"I'll reach out to him in a couple of days. Maybe see if he wants to go to the dog park." Brock offered.

"He seemed to like Cerberus. He didn't even realise he was petting him. Dogs are good for mental and emotional healing." Ray commented.

"I don't like this. I don't like being kicked out of a brother's house. I don't like that he's got everything alphabetized, even his damn food in his fridge in food groups. What the hell is up with that?" Sonny asked, to him that seemed very odd and weird.

"The kid has a high IQ, medical file has it at one-seventy. You get an IQ that high and some quirks come with it. His place looks like it's in order and he keeps it clean and organized. He might just need it that way so he can relax and focus." Trent explained.

"One-seventy? Ain't that higher than Einstein?" Sonny asked, shocked.

"Yup. Seems like we are going to need to get to know the kid better so we can learn about all of his quirks. Having someone that smart though on the team isn't a bad thing. People with high IQs, they see the world differently. They see things that most people miss, it could be good." Ray said.

"We give him a few days to himself before one of us can reach out to him. It's gonna take some time, but we'll get him there." Jason said.

"Alright." Sonny reluctantly agreed.

The others gave a nod and they all headed off to get into their vehicles. They were going to head off to meet up at the bar to get some drinks and relax. They would get back into touch with Clay in a few days and see how he was doing.

XXX

It was a few days later when Clay found himself standing outside of his apartment waiting for Brock. The guys had all left him alone for the past few days, something Clay was so thankful for. Even Derek hadn't come by to see him. Clay knew he should feel bad for yelling at them, and a small part of him did, but mostly he was just relieved to be left alone. He needed the peace. Now it was three days later and when Brock had sent him a text asking if he wanted to go to the dog park with Cerb, Clay had said yes. It was mostly because he wanted to see Cerberus again. He had seriously been thinking about getting a puppy so it would be nice to be around Cerberus and he could talk to Brock about it. He also appreciated that Brock hadn't asked how he was doing or if he needed anything. He simply asked if he wanted to go.

Brock's truck pulled in and Clay made his way over to him. Clay got in and the second he sat down Cerberus poked his head over his shoulder for some attention. Clay gave Cerberus a pet with his good arm after he closed his door and got his seatbelt on.

"Watch his shoulder Cerb." Brock said, as he got his truck going.

"He's ok." Clay said.

Brock focused on the road and didn't say anything. He wanted to let Clay talk if he felt like it, but if not he was ok with that. Brock was very good with silence and never felt that need to fill it, like Sonny. Clay and Brock sat in silence, Clay continued to pet Cerberus, who was very happy for the attention. When they arrived at the dog park Clay thought Cerberus' tail was going to fall off with how much it was wagging. Clay couldn't help the smile as Cerberus got out of the truck and looked back at Brock waiting for the command. With a nod from Brock, Cerberus was taking off.

"He loves it here." Brock said, as he pulled out a tennis ball from his pocket and threw it.

"I can see. This is a big place."

Clay couldn't even see the end of the park. There were different little obstacle items that the dogs could play with. It was a great park.

"It's one of the good ones. It's also not too busy during the day with it being strictly a military dog park."

"They have dog parks just for military dogs?" Clay was surprised by that.

"They do and you can use it if you are potentially training a dog for the military. We've been here a few times and there's been a puppy here. Cerb goes crazy, he loves puppies." Brock said proudly and Clay could hear the love in his voice.

"Was the process hard to get Cerb certified?"

"Not really. I've had three others in my career that have been my partner, so the process for Cerb was really easy. You can do it through courses and if you are active you can take the dog with you on missions, but they have to stay on base or in HAVOC. It's not too bad, especially if you have the right type of dog for it. Have you ever had a dog?"

"No, I always wanted one though. Growing up I wasn't allowed to have any pets, too messy. Then I was in the Navy and didn't have the time for house training. I've been thinking about it though. I have the time off right now where I can spend the time to house train. It would be nice to have someone to come home to, someone that is always happy to see you."

"That's the best part of having a dog. It's a companion there for you. I don't know what I would do without having Cerb. I'll die having a dog. I don't know what breed you were thinking of, but I have a friend who is a great breeder for German Shepherds. He's got a litter ready to be rehomed in two weeks, he's still got a few available."

"Really?"

"Ya, he's a great breeder. A few of the guys in the Navy have gotten a K9 partner from him. All are certified and cleared medically of any genetic disorders. It's about a two hour drive away, but if you felt up for it, I could take you out there to check em out."

"Ya I would be cool with that." Clay was open to the idea of being able to see some puppies in person and see what he thought.

"We can head out there this weekend if you feel up to it and I'm not spun up." Brock suggested.

"Sounds good."

They spent the next couple of hours there at the park. Clay had sat down on one of the benches part way through to rest his healing body. He did love watching Cerb run around going through all of the obstacles. He was going to seriously think about getting a puppy, it might just be what he needed in his life. When they finally headed out, Clay was exhausted and looking forward to curling up in bed. Clay was very thankful that Brock didn't even ask to come up. With a quick goodbye Clay headed up and immediately went straight for his bed.

XXX

Brock headed into the cage room with Cerberus right next to him. After dropping Clay back off at his apartment he made his way back to base to see the guys. They didn't have an operation right now, but they needed to get their gear in order and make sure any paperwork was completed before they were spun up again. The second he walked into the room the guys were on him.

"Hey, did you see the kid?" Sonny asked.

"I just dropped him back off. We were at the dog park for a couple of hours." Brock answered, as he headed over to his cage.

"How was he?" Jason asked.

"Not bad. He didn't talk much. He was still in pain and exhausted."

"He'll be in pain and exhausted for a couple of months still. Did he seem to be in more pain than normal?" Trent asked.

Trent had been very worried about Clay's physical health. His injuries were very extensive and they would take a long time to heal. He wished he could be there more to check in on him and make sure he was healing properly.

"No, seems to be the same as the last time we saw him."

"Did he talk about anything in particular?" Ray asked.

Brock answered as he sat down on a stool just outside of his cage. "He's thinking about getting a dog."

"Really?" Sonny asked, confused.

"Said he always wanted one, but he wasn't allowed to have a pet growing up. Then he was too busy with missions. He said now might be a good time while he was off to get a puppy and house train it. We're gonna go up this weekend to check my friend's puppies that he breeds."

"Is that really a good idea?" Sonny asked.

"Dogs can be great for someone when they are healing and alone. We have to think about Clay's mental and emotional health as well as his physical health. He could still develop PTSD from what happened to him. A puppy could be what he needs to keep moving forward and to have someone there on those hard days and nights." Ray said, throwing his support behind Clay getting a puppy.

"And that's exactly it. Right now he's a lone wolf. He doesn't understand what family is, and with a father like Ash that's not surprising. He's not going to tolerate one of us being there all the time to help him get through this. A puppy is a friend for life. He'll always have it there for him." Jason agreed.

"What kind of dog?" Trent asked.

"My friend breeds german shepherds."

"So it could be trained as a K9 if he wanted." Ray said.

"He did ask about it. He might consider it if the puppy is interested in learning." Brock commented.

"Well, if you guys think this is what is best for the kid, then I'll support it." Sonny easily said.

"I think it would be a huge help to his mental and emotional health." Trent said.

"I agree. I think this is something he needs to do." Ray added.

"When do we get to see him?" Sonny asked.

"He's going with Brock in two days, so next week we can reach out to him and see if he wants to meet up. We're easing him in, remember?" Jason said. He knew that Sonny was not happy about any of this, but if they pushed Clay too hard they would lose him before they ever got him.

"Ya, ya, ya. He better appreciate it." Sonny grumbled.

"I'm sure he does Son." Ray said.

They all understood that it was hard for Clay, but at the same time it was hard on them as well. They were so used to being there when one of them was injured. Clay didn't want them around him and the team was feeling that sense of helplessness from it. Clay seemed to be good with Brock and they were hoping they could start getting Clay used to the rest of them.

XXX

As Clay stood there in front of his apartment building that Saturday morning waiting for Brock once again, he couldn't help but think about his doctor's appointment yesterday.

_Flashback_

_The process of getting his back restitched was not something Clay ever wanted to go through again. Unfortunately it was looking like he would have to go through this once more, possibly twice before his back would finally be healed up enough. The whip lashes were deep and they were done with the purpose of causing serious damage. The only saving grace was that they didn't hit his spine. His back was numb right now, but he was advised multiple times how it would be very painful once the numbing faded away. Clay was not looking forward to later. He was hoping to leave right away so he could get home before the numbing wore off, but Dr. Roberts wanted to speak with him first._

" _Morning Clay, I know you are eager to get out of here, but I needed to speak with you first." Dr. Roberts said, as he walked into the room._

" _Is everything ok?" Clay asked, concerned._

" _Your back is healing, it's healing slowly though, more so than it should be. I ran your blood work and it came back that you are lacking protein in your blood."_

" _How does that happen?"_

_Clay wasn't sure why he would be low in protein. He made sure to eat properly all the time. He knew he wasn't very hungry right now, but that shouldn't be affecting his protein levels already._

" _Some people have a harder time absorbing protein into their body. You wouldn't have had a reason to be tested for it before. Any symptoms like fatigue would have easily been written off as a side effect of your job. Some people are born that way, it's probably connected to why you are allergic to so many medications."_

" _Ok, so what does that mean? How will it affect me?"_

" _Well, for starters it will mean you heal slower. It's why your back is taking longer to heal than normal. It will also make it harder for you to gain muscle mass. Your bones will be weaker so you are more at risk of fractures and broken bones. It can also increase your risk of infection with your immune system not getting everything it needs."_

" _Alright, what do I do though? I can't take vitamins."_

" _You'll need to make changes to your diet. Incorporate more high protein foods and even powders and bars. Your body just needs more protein and it will start to build back up to normal levels. We'll keep an eye on it and make sure we do regular blood tests, every three months, to ensure you are going in the right direction."_

" _Ok, ya I can do that." That wasn't too bad and it wouldn't keep him from returning to work._

" _Now, the next issue we have is your breathing. As the bruising is healing you should be able to breathe better. We need to increase your breathing treatments and you are in the first stage of asthma. So I have an inhaler for you to use. I want you to use it three times a day and whenever you feel like you are having a hard time breathing." Dr. Roberts said, as he held the inhaler out to Clay._

" _How many puffs?"_

" _Just two each time. I don't want you to worry too much though, your asthma might not get worse than stage one. Your lungs were seriously damaged and they need time to heal. With your lack of protein they are just taking longer. Once we correct the protein deficiency we should find your lungs healing better."_

" _Am I still on track to being able to go back to work?" Clay was terrified of the answer. Without being a Seal, he honestly had no idea if he would be able to still be in the military. He had no idea if he would be able to handle not being in active duty or where he would even go._

" _As of right now, it is still possible."_

_Clay gave a nod and Dr. Roberts spoke again. "Do you have any questions for me?"_

" _Um… no not right now. Thanks Doc."_

" _It's no problem. The pharmacy has refills in place for the inhaler cartridge when you need it. Get home safe and I'll see you in a week."_

" _Thanks._

_End of Flashback_

Clay couldn't believe that he had a protein deficiency and he needed to be on an inhaler to go with it. It felt like he was never going to be getting better. Like he was never going to get back to a normal life and routine. He was really looking forward to seeing the puppies today, he needed something to cheer him up. Clay's back was killing him, he had finally given in and taken one of his pain pills to help ease the pain. It was helping to make it bearable and when he got back he could always go back to sleep. He just wished he felt better already and he could get back to his normal life. Brock pulled up and Clay slowly made his way over to his truck.

Brock noticed that Clay wasn't moving too great and he was instantly worried. He wanted to get out to help but he knew that Clay wouldn't appreciate it; so he had no choice but to sit there and watch as his new brother struggled to make it to his truck. Once Clay was sitting down next to him Brock couldn't help but ask.

"Are you ok?"

"Ya I'm fine, just new stitches." Clay said trying to downplay it.

"You sure you are up for this?"

"Ya it's not too bad and I took a pill." Cerb poked his head over Clay's shoulder and Clay started to pet him. "Besides, puppies are good for the soul right?" Clay said with a slight joking tone.

"I think so." Brock said warmly back as he headed out.

Clay sat back as best as he could and he enjoyed the silence between them. Clay liked that Brock was quiet, that he didn't need to fill the silence with pointless words. Clay closed his eyes and just allowed himself the time he needed to try and get the pain under control. He was surprised that when the car did stop they were at Brock's breeder friend's place. Clay figured he had fallen asleep not too far into the drive. Clay rubbed his eyes with his good hand as he spoke.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Your body is healing, sleep is the best thing for it. At least that's what Trent lectures us all about when we get hurt." Brock said with a smile.

"I'm sure you all listen." Clay said playfully.

"Always." Brock said with a smirk and Clay knew that was far from the truth.

They got out and Cerb didn't waste a second before he was running from the car and around the house. The place was actually a farm, it looked like a hobby farm with a few horses, llamas and sheep.

"This place is big." Clay said as he followed Brock around to the back of the house where Cerberus ran off to.

"It's his own slice of heaven. Diago used to be a Seal in Team Seven, but he couldn't do it anymore. He was a K9 handler and after his long term partner Shadow was killed in front of him to save his life, he couldn't do it. He took his retirement and bought this place. Now he breeds dogs and he tends to keep a puppy from each litter he does."

"Sounds like a great plan, except mine would be on a beach."

They went around the corner of the house and saw a man who Clay assumed was Diago petting Cerberus. He gave them both a warm smile as he looked up at them.

"Hey Brock, it's about time you brought this guy over to see me."

"Sorry brother, we've been busy with ops. How are your pups?" Diago had close to twelve dogs that he kept and raised on the farm. Most people would think he was insane, but Brock knew how much he loved dogs and if he was honest, Brock would have a dozen or more himself if he could.

"They are good. Keeping busy with the new litter of puppies." Diago stood up from petting Cerberus and held his hand out to Clay. "Sorry, I have terrible human manners. I'm Diago."

Clay took his hand as he spoke. "Clay, it's nice to meet you."

"Clay is thinking about getting a puppy and I told him that you had a litter you were working on selling." Brock said.

"Ya for sure. Come on, I'll show you where they are."

The three of them headed towards the one renovated barn where the puppies and their mom were being kept. Cerberus ran with them, but he quickly changed direction once he saw the other dogs in the field. Brock wasn't worried, the whole property was fenced off so Cerberus wouldn't be able to go too far.

"I have three that are unspoken for, two females and a male. They are purebred german shepherds and all are certified and have been vet checked and dewormed multiple times. They have their first set of shots next week and they can be rehomed in two weeks. Are you thinking about training the puppy to be a k9?" Diago asked.

"I'm not sure, I guess it would depend on if the dog was interested in it or not. I've never had a pet, but I've always wanted a dog just never had the time. I'm off for at least three months so I have the time for house training now. Mostly it would just be nice to have a companion." Clay answered as they headed into the barn.

"Three months, I guess that is for medical leave." Diago said, as he could clearly see the injuries to Clay.

"Ya, bad op." Clay said vaguely and Diago knew not to push.

They walked over to a horse stall and saw the eight puppies and their mom in it. The mom was laying down, but the puppies were running around.

"The ones with collars on them are spoken for. You can go in and see what you think." Diago said, as he opened the stall door just enough for Clay to sneak through it, but keep the puppies in.

Diago and Brock moved back so Clay could have some time with the puppies. He had to be careful of his injuries, but he couldn't help but bend down into the mix of everything. The puppies all came towards him and Clay did his best to pet them, but he focused on the ones without a collar on. Up until this point he was still unsure of if this was a good idea or not, but being here and being able to pet them and see them, he knew he needed one of these little guys in his life. He just needed to figure out which one.

Diago whispered so Clay wouldn't be able to overhear them. "He good?"

"To own a dog? I wouldn't bring him if he wasn't."

"Good to know, but I meant after what happened. He's got haunted eyes."

Diago would know what haunted eyes looked like better than anyone. He worked with a lot of Vets in need of a good service dog. The ones that came to him all had that same look in their eyes. The look that told the world they had seen too much horror and couldn't do it anymore. It was hard seeing that look on someone who was so young.

"He was waiting for the draft pick after completing Green Team, top of his class, when a Tier One team took him on an op as an extra man. They left him in the middle of a warzone with limited ammo and supplies. They then flew back home without going back for him or knowing someone was going for him in the area. By the time we touched down, he had been captured and tortured. Only we didn't rescue him, the kid got himself free, killed his captors and got someplace safe so he could hide. That was almost three weeks ago."

"Fuck. Discharged?"

"Nope, still in. If he can heal up enough and pass the exams he'll be back in Tier One status. We're taking him on. The other team got a slap on the wrists because they followed regulations. It doesn't matter that what they did was dishonorable and against the brotherhood. When he told me that he was thinking about getting a dog, I told him about your place. He needs a dog Diago, he needs that support."

"Could be what gets him through to the other side. Dogs can do a lot for someone, give them the love they need. But they can also be the reason you get up every day. Having to take care of a puppy gives you a purpose, I see it all the time with the Vets that I work with. And with you being around I know you can help him with training and being there should he need some support."

"Always. He's a good kid, he's had a hard life, but he's still trying to make this world a better place. He'll give that dog all the love in the world." Brock said fully confident.

Diago agreed. It was just that simple. If Brock vouched for him, then the kid had to be a good person. They walked back over and for the first time Brock saw a genuine big smile on Clay's face. He was in heaven right now.

"I see you made some friends." Brock said warmly.

"I'm changing my retirement plan." Clay said. He could now see the appeal of a bunch of puppies for retirement.

"It's a good plan. That one you are holding is the male, he is also one of two long haired pups from this litter." Diago said.

"He looks like a little bear. He's cute as hell." Clay said, as the puppy licked his chin.

"Is it love?" Brock asked.

"Oh it's love." Clay said.

"Looks like you got yourself a puppy then. I'll grab the paperwork for you." Diago said with a warm smile.

Diago headed out and Brock walked into the stall. The other puppies all ran at him and he bent down to pet them.

"You'll need to think of a name for him."

"I'll give it some thought. Come up with a good name for him."

"Cerb is going to love having a puppy around. He'll teach him some good habits and get those bad ones out of the way."

"And it's safe for Cerb to play with a puppy? With him not having all of his shots."

"It's fine, because military dogs are kept up to date on their vaccines and booster shots. I would avoid having him around civilian dogs until he has all of his shots, just because you never know."

Clay gave a nod, that was simple enough. "Thank-you for this, for bringing me here. I wasn't too sure about all of this at first, but now I am."

"You're welcome brother. And dogs are really good for the soul. Someone that can be there on the days that are hard and darker. I don't know what I would do without Cerb. He's gonna be really good for you."

That was something Brock was sure of. You could have family or a girlfriend, but there was something special about the love of a dog. Knowing that there were no judgments or conditions on that love. It was something that everyone needed, especially Clay right now.

"Ya, I think so too." Clay said, as he looked down at his new puppy.

They spent another ten minutes with the puppies before Brock could see the pain going through Clay's body. Being down on the ground with multiple injuries with eight puppies jumping on you was not a good idea.

"Come on brother, let's get you up before you agitate your injuries any more."

Clay gave a nod and he gave his new puppy one last pet before he spoke.

"Can you help?"

He wasn't used to asking for help or getting any, but right now he really didn't think he would be able to stand up on his own.

"I got you brother."

Brock went around to Clay's good side and helped to get him up. Clay swayed slightly as a wave of pain hit him. Brock didn't let go until he was confident that Clay would be alright. They both slowly made their way out of the stall and Brock made sure all of the puppies stayed inside as he closed the stall door. He then turned his attention to Clay. He could see the slight tremble in his body and he knew that the pain he had felt earlier was back full force. Clay was doing his best though to show no pain and Brock couldn't help but wonder if it was something he had picked up with being in the other teams. As if Clay would be perceived as weak for being in pain. Brock wanted to ask if Clay was ok, but he knew that Clay would just say he was fine. Instead they both headed off to where Diago had gone to get the paperwork in order so they could head out. Clay needed some serious sleep and he was hoping that Clay would fall asleep in the car again.

It was a good thirty minutes later when Clay and Brock headed back to their car with Cerberus staying close to Clay. All of the paperwork had been completed, the payment made and Clay was going home with his own goody bag for his new puppy. Now all he had to do was wait two weeks and then he would be able to bring him home.

XXX

It was just after nine that night when Bravo walked into the Bulkhead for a few beers. They were all a little anxious to hear how it went with Brock and Clay at Brock's friend's place. They were still a little surprised that Clay was thinking about getting a puppy, but Jason was still standing with Ray and Brock on this. A puppy could be a really good thing. He had seen lots of vets, team guys, that had been discharged for medical reasons turning to drugs and booze to numb the pain. A service dog or a regular puppy seemed to really help them get through their pain and trauma. Clay had been through a lot, he needed someone to come home to.

The first thing they noticed were two people sitting at the bar, two people they did not expect to see here, Ash and Clay.

"Guess he still talks to his old man." Sonny said, not impressed at all.

"Family is complicated Son." Ray said.

They had no idea what their relationship was like. They knew what Ash was like and what little they did know from Clay growing up, he wasn't a father. But things could have changed since he was in the Navy for all they knew. They grabbed their usual table and sat down, as the waitress came over Jason spoke.

"Hey Mel, do you know how long they've been here?" Jason said with a nod towards Clay and Ash.

"Ash, about ninety minutes and Clay just got here a few minutes ago, that's his first drink. He wasn't happy to be here."

"You know what they are talking about?" Sonny asked.

"I didn't hear much, just something about Ash and money." Mel said with a shrug.

"Did it seem like Clay was looking for it or Ash?" Jason asked.

"Ash." Mel said, as she headed off to grab their drinks.

"Typical asshole, going to his kid to get more money, probably to gamble with." Sonny said with a shake of his head.

"He doesn't look too happy." Trent commented.

"Can't blame him. Brock, how was he today?" Jason asked.

"He seemed good. In pain, he had to get his stitches redone and I think he was in a lot more pain then he was letting on."

"That can be expected with getting that many stitches. How did he seem emotionally?" Trent asked.

"He was tired, but he seemed good. He really liked Diago and the puppies. He picked out a male that can go home in two weeks." Brock answered.

"So he's really doing it?" Sonny asked, surprised.

"Ya. He's excited for it."

"Good, that's good. Having some company and a companion will be good for the kid." Jason said.

Mel brought their drinks over, but before they could even take a sip Clay was tossing the rest of his glass into Ash's face and got up, storming out of the bar. Ash was hot on his heels though. The guys didn't even have to look at each other to know what the rest were going to do. They all got up and followed them outside of the bar to ensure that Ash didn't do something to hurt Clay. They wouldn't intervene unless they had to, but there was no way they were going to let their brother be hurt by anyone.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Ash roared.

"You are unbelievable." Clay said as he turned around so he could face Ash, but he was slowly walking back at the same time. "You don't stop hounding me for a week, endless calls at all hours of the day and night. I finally agree to meet with you and it's not because you found out I was injured, no. It's because you want money from me. You have the balls to tell me that I owe you!"

"You do owe me! If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be alive right now."

"Well thank-you for being a sperm donor and then just fucking off for the rest of my life. I can't believe I even showed up. I am the biggest idiot for thinking for once in my goddamn life that you would actually care. That you were actually going to be a father to me. You got money problems, then quit gambling and grow the fuck up."

Clay turned around, but Ash snapped his hand out and grabbed Clay's wrist and pulled him back to him. As Ash went to swing his fist at Clay, it was stopped. It was in that moment that they both realised that they had an audience. Both of them turned to see that Ash's fist, that was headed straight for Clay's face, was stopped by a firm grip around Ash's wrist by Jason.

"You ever think about raising your hand to him again and you'll lose it." Jason growled out. If there was one thing Jason will never tolerate it was a father hitting their kid, he didn't care how old the kid was.

"Get lost Hayes, this doesn't concern you." Ash snapped, as he pulled his arm free.

"You starting something with one of my brothers, you're fucking right it concerns me." Jason said, as Clay got his wrist free from Ash.

"Brother? That's hilarious he'll never be cleared to be in DEVGRU ever again. His career is over and he's going out as some weak pathetic piece of shit."

Jason looked over at Clay. "You done with him?"

"Ya." Clay said with a nod, doing everything he could to keep the emotions out of his voice.

"You can get the fuck out of here." Jason said to Ash as he stood in front of Clay.

The other guys all came around and were ready to jump in should they have to. Brock moved over so he was closer to Clay and could get him out of here should he need to.

"He can leave when I'm done talking to him." A female voice said.

Everyone turned to see who this new person was. They saw there was a woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes standing behind Clay just a little bit back. Everyone was confused, but Ash.

"What the hell do you want?" Ash demanded.

"That's how you talk to your sister." She said.

"Sister? He doesn't have a sister." Clay instantly said. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but what he did know was that he was over this.

He never should have even come out, the only reason he did was because Ash said he wanted to make sure he was doing ok and had everything he needed. Clay couldn't figure out why, but he just wanted his dad to finally be his dad. For once in his life to know that he could go to him when he needed to talk or when he wanted to just be around someone. He was used to being alone, to going through life alone, but every now and then it got so hard and exhausting. With constantly having to have everything figured out and always being the strong one. He never got the chance to just let everything go. To let someone else be strong so he could just feel what he needed to feel.

"Are you going to tell him or should I?" She said.

"Tell me what?" Clay asked and they could hear the pain and exhaustion creeping into his voice.

"This is your bitch of an aunt." Ash said.

"Nice." She said, sarcastically.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you had a sister? That I have more family." Clay demanded.

"She's not important." Ash said.

"And we're not family. We share blood, but that is it."

"Wow, I see the loving feelings are genetic." Sonny said sarcastically. He didn't like this woman or how she seemed to have an attitude about her.

"This doesn't concern you. I'm here to talk to them." She said, pointing to Clay and Ash.

"What do you want Cindy, money? Too bad." Ash said.

"Like you have money. We both know you gamble every dollar you make." Cindy said, disgusted.

"Could one of you tell me how I have an aunt and I didn't know about it. I grew up with your parents and they never once mentioned any siblings. There were no photos of anyone." Clay said, confused.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you never told him. Who did you say his mother was? Some junkie whore that you had a one night stand with?" Cindy asked.

"Yes actually. Why did you know her?" Clay asked.

He didn't know anything about his mother. All he knew was that she had died not long after he was born and that she was some prostitute that Ash had slept with. He always wished he could have learnt more about her. It would have helped medically that was for sure, but also so he could know that other half of himself.

"Oh I knew her. She was my best friend. Typical that you never told him. He has the right to know who his parents are. Even if his father is as disgusting and degenerate as you." Cindy seethed.

"It's none of your fucking business." Ash snapped back.

"Am I needed for this conversation?" Clay asked, tired of all of this already.

He didn't need a front row seat to Ash and apparently his aunt's fight. He wanted to go back home and just sleep. The guys had all moved closer to him, they weren't sure what was going to happen but they wanted to be ready to get Clay out if they had to. They could see the pain was creeping in more and he really needed to sit down.

"Your mother was my sister, my younger sister." Cindy stated, as she looked right at Clay.

The guys all looked at each other trying to figure out how that worked. If Clay's mother was her sister, then it had to be a half sister somehow. But if she was Cindy's half sister then she would have to be Ash's half sister, unless Cindy and Ash were half siblings as well.

"Wait, so you both are half siblings?" Clay said, sounding just as confused as them.

"No. Your father started molesting and raping our sister when she was ten years old. He got her pregnant when she was fourteen. By the time she discovered it, it was too late to get rid of you. She gave birth at home so people wouldn't talk about a good catholic girl getting knocked up. She wrote a note telling the family what that piece of shit did to her. Then she hung herself and left you on her bed. Our parents found you and decided that they couldn't let it get out. They couldn't bring that level of shame to the family if people found out that their grandson was some incestual rape baby." Cindy said with nothing but pure disgust towards Clay.

Everyone was frozen, no one spoke, no one knew what to even say. The guys couldn't believe this was happening. That Clay had to find this out, and to do it this way. It was cruel and she knew it.

"No, you're lying." Clay automatically said. This couldn't be happening. There was no way that was true. There was just no way. Clay looked over at Ash and spoke. "Tell me she's lying."

Ash just looked over at him and there was no emotion on his face, nothing. And that bad feeling in the pit of his stomach grew even worse.

"Tell me that she is lying." Clay said. He didn't care that he had a pleading tone to his voice. He needed to hear it. He needed to hear the words come out of Ash's mouth that she was lying.

"It wasn't exactly the way she put it." Ash said with a shrug.

"Oh my god." Clay said softly.

No, this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. He had wondered his whole life who his mother was, what she was like, what happened. And now he finally found out and it was this. It was that she was raped by her own brother and then killed herself instead of raising him. So it was his fault she was dead.

"It was exactly that. I lost my sister and my parents that day and now you are going to make it up to me. Maddie, my four year old, she's sick and needs a bone marrow transplant. But because her blood is AB negative she's too rare for the donor list. You and your disgusting inbred son need to get tested."

"I ain't doing shit for you." Ash said.

"You owe me!" Cindy yelled.

"I don't owe you anything." Ash snapped back.

"You raped my sister for four years. And you couldn't even be bothered to wear a condom so she wouldn't get pregnant. She's dead because your inbred son was born. You're damn fucking right you owe me, the both of you do."

"We were in love. She wanted it. Every single touch she wanted. She couldn't stop moaning every time I touched her."

It was too much for Clay. He turned away and went over to the wall and threw up. Bock and Trent went over to him, they had to get Clay out of here.

"You talk to him like that and then you want to demand something from him? Fuck you lady." Sonny said, in Clay's defense.

He wasn't going to let anyone railroad Clay. None of this was his fault. He didn't ask to be born like that. He didn't ask to have Ash as a father. He had no control over the circumstances of his conception or his birth.

"I am fighting for my daughter's life. My sister is dead because of him, I'm not about to bury my daughter too." Cindy said.

Clay pushed away from the wall, his whole body was trembling. He was having a hard time calming his breathing down. He could feel himself panicking and he couldn't stop it.

"I can't." Clay forced out as he headed over to his parked car.

The guys had been keeping an eye on Clay the whole time. Seeing him going over to his car, the driver's side, pushed Brock into action. The very last thing Clay should be doing right now was driving anywhere. Brock went over to Clay, who was trying to get the door open, and spoke.

"You can't drive like this. Let me drive you home. We don't have to say anything, I'll just drop you off." Brock offered, as he put his hand on Clay's car door to prevent him from opening it.

Clay was too messed up right now to even argue. He just handed his keys over to Brock and went around to the other side to get into his car. Brock got in, knowing that his brothers would handle this mess. His job was to get Clay home where he would feel safe so he could calm down.

"Lady, I can sympathise that your child is sick. If my daughter or son were I would be doing everything I could to ensure they got healthy again. But I wouldn't show up and start hurting someone that could save my child's life. You get to be pissed off at this piece of shit." Jason said, pointing to Ash. "But you don't get to treat that kid the way you did. He didn't deserve to hear this, not like this."

"I don't care about his feelings and this has nothing to do with any of you." Cindy snapped.

"It has to do with us when you show up and drop this bombshell on our brother." Ray said back.

"I ain't giving you shit. Unless you want to pay me." Ash said.

"All of my money goes towards medical bills to keep my daughter alive. You owe me this."

"I don't owe anyone, anything. I'm sure my pathetic bleeding heart of a son will do it. I'm through with you." Ash said, before he turned and headed towards his own car to get out of here.

The guys were not shocked at all. If there was one thing that Ash was, it was a coward. At the very least he was a coward now.

"Unbelievable. I'm not done." Cindy said looking at the guys before she headed off.

They all knew she would be going after Clay again, assuming she would be able to find him. Again, they couldn't blame her, her daughter was very sick. At the same time though, she could have handled this whole situation better. She could have sat down and talked with Clay and lied about why she wasn't around. She didn't need to tell him something like this.

"What the fuck." Sonny said, once they were alone.

"There's going to be no fixing this." Ray said.

"How the hell would you even fix this?" Sonny argued back.

"Time's the only thing that will. It makes sense though, medically speaking, it makes sense. Clay's allergies could be connected to his DNA. People who are born from first relatives can have any number of medical problems. Clay's allergies could be that result." Trent said.

"What the hell do we do?" Sonny asked them.

"Right now, nothing. We can't storm over to Clay's and push our way in. That will only make it worse for him. I'll go over tomorrow and check in and speak with him. He needs tonight to process and feel whatever he needs to feel." Jason said.

"So we just ignore this?" Sonny asked, there was no way he was doing that.

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying we give him the night to process. We give ourselves the night to calm the hell down so when we do see him, we won't be going in hot. We all need the night." Jason said, barely controlling his own anger right now.

"I need to get drunk." Sonny said, as he headed back towards the bar.

"I'll go after him." Trent automatically said.

Jason ran his hands over his face to try and get his emotions under control. He couldn't believe this was how the night was ending. The father in him was screaming for him to get to Clay and try to make this better. To let him scream, fight, breakdown, do whatever he needed to do to feel better. But he knew he couldn't right now. He couldn't go to Clay because Clay wasn't used to people being around him. He was used to having to be the strong one all the time. He was used to handling things alone without any outside help.

"This is gonna be bad Jase."

"Ya, I know."

"You sure it's a good idea to leave the kid alone tonight?"

Ray was really worried about how Clay would handle this news. It wasn't something that you just accepted and moved on within an hour or two. This was news that could destroy a person. Clay had been through enough, this was the very last thing he needed to be dealing with.

"No, but I know he won't tolerate someone being around him right now. We don't have a choice, but to wait until tomorrow. To give him some time to freak out in the privacy of his own home and then start to calm down. I'll go over tomorrow and get it sorted."

"Alright, do you want me to go and pick up Brock?"

"No I'll go. I want to know if the kid said anything along the way. I doubt it, but maybe. We have that training tomorrow, so I'll go afterwards and I can meet you guys on base to let you know how it goes."

"Alright brother. I'll go keep an eye on Sonny for a bit before trying to get him home."

"Good luck with that."

They both knew how hot Sonny could be, especially when you went after one of his brothers. Ray gave a nod and then headed for the bar. Jason let out a sigh and made his way over to his truck. He would need to go and pick up Brock and bring him back here so he could then get his truck. Jason was really hoping Brock had been able to get through to Clay a bit and was able to worm his way up to his apartment. It would be better for Clay to be with someone tonight and not alone. Even if that was Brock, who could just be a silent support. It was better than him being alone.

Jason pulled up and saw Brock standing out front of Clay's apartment with his phone in his hand. Jason figured he must have called Trent to see about picking him up. Jason pulled up and Brock headed over to his truck, speaking once he got inside.

"Thanks."

"How is he?" Jason asked, as he started to head back out.

"He didn't talk the whole time. He was trying to get his breathing under control. It seemed like he was seconds away from a panic attack. I offered to go up with him, but he refused. I'm worried about him Boss."

"I know, we all are. I'm going to come back tomorrow after training and speak with him. See how he's doing and where his head is at. Tonight he needs to process everything."

"He was so happy earlier and now this happens."

"Ya, the last thing that kid needed was a reminder of how much life can suck. We'll sort it out and be there for him. That's all we really can do."

Brock agreed, but he wasn't happy about it. He wanted to be there for Clay right now. He wanted to go and pick up Cerberus and bring him by to try and help Clay. He hated that Clay wouldn't tolerate someone being there for him right now. He shouldn't have to suffer through this alone, but he wasn't giving any of them a choice in the matter. All they could do was wait until Jason was able to go over there tomorrow to speak with him. Hopefully Clay would let him in.

XXX

Clay was exhausted. He didn't sleep at all last night and his body was feeling the pain even more today from it. He still couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that not only was he a product of rape, but his mother was technically his aunt. He knew Ash was a lot of things, but he never expected for him to have ever done something this horrible. He didn't know what to do with himself, he didn't know what to feel about any of this. Everything was different now, Everything he saw in the mirror felt different and Clay had no idea how to handle this.

There was a knock at his door, bringing Clay out of his thoughts, but he had no interest in opening it. He was not in the mood for company and the very last thing he wanted was to open that door and see Ash on the other side.

"It's just me kid. Can you let me in Clay?" Jason's voice said from the other side of the door.

Clay let out a sigh, he really didn't want to let him in, but at the same time it seemed wrong to leave him out there. This was probably how Jason planned on telling him his offer to join Bravo was off the table, not like it mattered. Clay seriously doubted he would be going back to work when word got out about this. There was no way they weren't going to push him out with a medical discharge. Clay forced his body to get up and he went over to unlock and open his door. He didn't even bother to open it all the way, just enough that Jason got the point before he walked back over to his spot on the couch. Jason walked in and spoke as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey brother."

"If you're here to tell me I'm no longer wanted in Bravo, I already figured as much so you don't need to waste your time."

"You're always going to be wanted in Bravo. Do you think that we would hold anything that Ash has done against you?" Jason asked gently as he sat down on the other end of the couch to Clay's right.

"Literally everyone does."

"Bravo isn't everyone. You know that stuff is illegal." Jason said with a nod to the marijuana sitting on the coffee table.

"It's medical."

"Seriously?" Jason asked, surprised. Most of the country was getting very open minded when it came to marijuana, but Virginia was still firm on not having it. Medical marijuana was even a fight to get.

"Because of my allergies a doc a few years ago recommended that I take medical marijuana to help with pain and nausea from concussions and whatnot. He's a good doc, he even made it in my military file that it was medically required for me. Other docs don't prescribe it so when I need it I call him and he checks my file to see what my injuries are and he sends it from California where he's practicing."

"But you are on a pain med still right?" Jason asked, confused.

"There is one type of pain med I can take. Dr. Roth was concerned that with my allergies and intolerance for most medications that my body would adapt to the pain meds and they wouldn't work anymore. He recommended that I use my pain meds for the extreme pain and use the pot for when the pain needed to be managed. It's the only thing that works and I don't have to worry about being allergic to it."

"Sonny is gonna become your best friend." Jason said with a warm smile.

"Only until he figures out you can't get high from it. There's no THC, it's mostly CBD. It's a different part of the plant that doesn't give you that high feeling. It's why I'm allowed to use it medically and still be in the military. Though I guess now it won't matter." Clay said sadly.

"Clay, you are going to recover from your injuries. You can't think like that."

"I don't know who heard what last night. Anyone who overheard could tell someone in the Upper Brass and this will give them just another reason to try and push me out. It's already going to be a fight to not get hit with a medical discharge."

"They would need approval from our Doc that you couldn't continue and he's not going to do that. We're not going to let anyone push you out. You're Bravo kid, that's until death."

"You shouldn't want me. Not with who I am now." Clay said with a deep pain to his voice, but Jason could tell he was trying to hide it.

"Who you are is a good man. A man that despite everything that has happened to you growing up, you chose a noble road to become a Seal, to become someone that can help protect people. The sins of your father Clay are not your sins. Unfortunately you have to live with them, but you don't have to carry them. And you damn well don't have to apologise for them. I know this is a shock kid and I know it can make you question everything, but I want you to remember all of the people you have helped. All the people you saved, all the evil bastards in this world that you have stopped. All the people that you have supported through your charities. Where would those people be if you weren't in this world? You are a good man Clay." Jason said with strength to his voice.

Clay felt the tears building in his eyes and he couldn't help the few that escaped and ran down his cheeks. He didn't know how he felt about any of what he just discovered. He felt like he didn't know who he was anymore, but it did make him feel a little bit better knowing that a man as good as Jason didn't look at him with disgust.

"I don't understand why they kept me."

The confusion in Clay's voice reminded him of Mickey or Emma when they were younger and didn't understand something. They would get this vulnerable and confused look on their face and look at him like he had all of the answers in the world.

"That's easy, they loved you kid."

"But that's just it, I don't think they did. I just thought they were the way that they were because that's who they are. I mean Ash isn't exactly warm and fuzzy, it made sense. But now." Clay paused briefly and Jason could see the pain kicked up a notch in his eyes. "There were no hugs, no I love you, no affection. If I was sick there wasn't someone there to take care of me. I was to be in my room just resting. If I was hungry I got up and got it myself. They never tucked me in, they never kissed me goodnight. When it was time for bed, I was to put myself to bed even as young as four. There were no family photos on the wall, they never got any school photos of me. Even the class one that everyone got for free, they would throw it out the second I brought it home. Any class projects, any report card or even art from when I was younger, it went right into the trash."

Jason couldn't help but close his eyes for a second. He couldn't imagine not saying good night to his kids when he was there. There had been plenty of nights that he missed with being on a mission, but he still called when he could. When he was deployed he called every single night to see his kids and check in with them. He loved going home to see all of their photos and artwork that they made in school. It was part of being a parent, part of caring and loving your child. You wanted to see their crappy macaroni art that looked like a drunk blind man did it. To hear that Clay didn't even have someone like that in his life when he was young, was heartbreaking. To know that at such a young age he had to put himself to bed, to take care of himself when he was sick. That wasn't a child's job, that was your parents' job. It was on them to make you feel better. It was on them to check under your bed and in your closet to scare the monsters away. A child shouldn't be alone when there are two adults living with him.

"There were no birthdays. I didn't even know when mine was, I found out when I was sixteen after they passed when I found my birth certificate. We didn't do holidays, not any of the big ones or the small ones. There was never trick or treating or presents. I remember one time on Mother Days I was eight and we made these jewelery boxes at school. I had painted it with my Grams favorite colors and I was so excited to give it to her. So that morning after she woke up I gave it to her and wished her a Happy Mother's Day. She just told me that she wasn't my mother and walked away. I found the jewelery box later that day in the trash while I was doing my chores."

"Chores?" Jason asked, his voice raspy from the emotion that was flooding his body.

His grandparents might have never laid a hand on him, but that didn't change that they were abusive to him. Only their abuse was worse than a bruise that would heal over time. Their abuse was mental and emotional, something that would stick with you forever unless someone was there to change it. Clay never had anyone there to change it.

"Started when I was four, I always had chores around the house. They loved it to be spotless and everything to be in a specific place. I mean everything had to be in the right place, the books, the food in the kitchen, the dishes, everything. If it was wrong I would be in trouble and I would have to stand in the corner holding ten pound weights with my arms fully extended. Sometimes it would be for an hour or more, just depended on what I had done wrong. Like the time I accidentally broke a dish while doing the dishes when I was eight. I was in that corner for three hours, I couldn't move my arms for a week without them hurting. The house had to always be immaculate, it's why we couldn't have any pets or people over."

This conversation was not doing anything to Jason's anger. When he came over to talk to Clay, to check in on him, he was already pissed off at Ash, at his bitch of an aunt. He was pissed at the world that Clay would have to carry this around with him on top of everything else he had to thanks to his asshole of a father. The only saving grace he thought Clay had were his grandparents, only now it was looking like he really did grow up with no one.

"You never had a holiday? Not even Christmas?"

"I was in the first grade when I overheard these older kids talking about how they were excited to go and see Santa that night for their picture. That they couldn't wait to see what presents Santa was going to bring them this year. I went over to them and asked what they were talking about, who Santa was. They told me all about it and that night I ran home from school all excited. When I got home I asked my grandparents if Santa was real and would bring presents to good boys and girls on Christmas. They told me yes and that I better make sure I was a good boy so he would bring me presents. I did everything they asked and was extra careful not to do something wrong and when Christmas came I could barely sleep. That morning I ran down the stairs to the living room, but there were no presents. I searched the whole house thinking he must have hidden them because we didn't have a tree. I couldn't find them and when my grandparents got up I asked them where the presents could be. They said I must not have gotten any because I wasn't a good enough boy all year. That maybe if I was extra good all year he would give me presents next Christmas. They did that every year until I was ten when they finally told me there was no such thing as Santa." Clay said with a sad smile that spoke to the volume of pain he was in.

Jason didn't even know what to say to that. He honestly didn't. It would have been less painful, less traumatising for them to have just hit Clay. Instead they made him feel like he wasn't good enough for Santa to come. They made him feel like he would never be worth anything. To put that type of trauma on a child was disgusting and just heartbreaking. Jason was trying really hard to not see Clay as anything more than just a brother, but he was pulling on his parental instincts. He wanted to wrap his arms around Clay and tell him it would all be ok. He wanted to take the pain from his eyes and see him smile. Jason honestly couldn't remember a time where he had seen Clay smile.

"I wish I knew what to tell you to make the pain that you feel go away. As a father, I wish I could take it away from you. All I can tell you is that with time and being around people who care about you, that it will get easier. That pain will get better."

"It doesn't feel like that." Clay said, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Jason reached over and placed a supportive hand on the back of Clay's neck. "I know Sunshine, but it will one day. When this new pain isn't so present, you'll feel it. And Bravo will always be in your corner. We don't leave anyone behind, especially not a brother. You never had a real family, but you got one now. It comes with a lot of protective big brothers and some nieces and nephews that come with homework questions that only you will understand."

Clay gave a small chuckle to that. "I can do that."

"Of course you can, you're our genius." Jason said with a warm smile.

He ran his thumb over Clay's neck for a moment before he moved back to give him some space. He knew Clay wasn't used to affection or touches so he didn't want to push his limits.

"What should I do?" Clay asked and Jason knew this was about the little girl Maddie.

Jason let out a sigh, because that wasn't a simple question. "I don't know. I wish I did, but it's not simple. If you weren't injured and healthy then it would be easier. The risks of you donating your marrow would be significantly less. Trent said with your lungs being compromised still, you might not even be allowed to donate even if you were a match. I would suggest that if you wanted to, you make an appointment with the Doc and see if you are even a match before thinking about anything else."

Clay gave a nod, Jason was right they didn't even know if he was a match so there was no point in thinking about anything that would come after that.

"They're gonna discharge me." Clay said softly.

"Did they say that?" Jason asked, with a pit growing in his stomach.

"No, but they have been wanting to come up with a reason to get rid of me since day one practically. Between my allergies, these new injuries, the trauma they could classify as being PTSD if they wanted. Then you factor in the asthma and this protein deficiency that I have that the Doc couldn't figure out why, which I think we can probably figure out now. And that is all before you factor in them eventually finding out what makes my DNA. They have more than enough reason to medically discharge me."

"As long as your injuries can heal and not prevent you from being in the field, they can't discharge you. We're not going to let them. What protein deficiency?" This was the first Jason was hearing it.

"Doc found it in my blood. It's making me heal slower. He didn't know why I had it, there were no normal indicators."

"What did he say about fixing it?"

"Eat more protein." Clay said with a small shrug.

"Alright, I'll let Trent know he'll figure something out. What did the Doc say about your lungs?"

"Asthma is in the first stage. He gave me an inhaler, said he would monitor it. I'll probably reach out to Dr. Roth and see if he can review my file and make sure there wasn't anything missed."

"Dr. Roberts is pretty good. He's been with us for eight years."

"I'm sure he is, Dr. Roth just knows me and my history. He's worked with me on figuring out what medications I can take and what I can't. He's the only Doc I've ever had that actually took the time to try and figure what is going on with me. He still checks in to make sure I have everything I need and I'm not injured or sick."

"Sounds like he is a solid guy. I'm glad you've had someone there to try and help you figure your medications out. I'll make sure Trent speaks with him as well to get any information he needs. Trent is our medic, but he's our medic on and off the field. He's always learning something new and we keep him up to date on our health situation. He'll probably want to go with you when you ask the Doc about the testing."

Clay gave a nod. He would normally go alone, but he knew the guys would have questions and he wasn't sure if he would even be able to answer them. If Trent was with him, he could get the answers the team wanted and it also meant Clay wouldn't have to deal with it.

"You're gonna be ok Sunshine."

"Maybe." Clay really was not convinced at this point, he couldn't even try to be convinced.

"You will be." Jason said with complete strength to his voice that almost made Clay feel better. "Do you need anything? You got food and stuff?"

"Ya, I think I just need some sleep. I appreciate you coming by."

Clay did mean that too. He had no idea how much he needed to talk until Jason sat down. He didn't really feel better but he didn't feel so alone at this point.

"Anytime, we're always going to be here for you Sunshine." Jason said with a warm smile.

"Is that my new name?" Clay asked with a very small smirk.

"You will discover that Sonny will come up with many nicknames for you. I want you to know though, that every nickname including kid, is a term of endearment and not meant to poke fun or belittle you. You are our kid brother and we take that very seriously. I know you aren't used to family and having people in your life, but you will get used to it and I promise one day you will even like it." Jason said with a warm smile.

"I don't know about that one. I guess I'll see."

Jason gave Clay a warm smile. He knew that it would take time to get Clay used to all of this. But he was going to be walking away today with learning more about Clay and getting just a bit closer to him, so today was a win in Jason's book.

"Do you need some help getting into bed? Do you need any of your bandages changed?"

"Naw, I'm good. Thanks though."

"Alright, I'll get out of here and let you get some sleep. Don't be surprised if Trent calls or texts you later to check in on you." Jason said, as he stood up.

Clay gave a nod and Jason headed out. He knew Clay needed some rest as he looked like death right now. He was hoping he would be able to sleep and start to feel a bit better. Jason headed down for his car and started to make the drive to the base. He knew the guys would be waiting for him to give them an update on Clay. Jason texted Ray letting him know that he was on his way back and that they should meet him in their cage room. Once Jason arrived at the base he headed straight for their cage room to see that everyone was there, including Blackburn. Jason was surprised to see Blackburn here, but him being here meant something must be wrong.

"What happened?" Jason asked Blackburn.

"Upper Brass has been looking into putting Spenser up for a medical discharge."

"What? He hasn't even had the chance to heal yet." Sonny said.

Jason let out a sigh, the kid called it. "Clay had a feeling they would. Said they had been trying to push him out for years, this is their chance."

"To be medically discharged though they would need his main doctor to agree to it. Clay hasn't had enough time to heal for that to be determined yet." Trent said.

"Agreed, but Dr. Roberts has the highest percentage of medical discharges within his career. He's older and old school, he goes with what the Upper Brass wants. He's not the type of doctor that fights for his patients outside of the office. He also has wanted to retire and leave the Tier One Teams and all of the travelling involved, but Upper Brass hasn't cleared it. This could be what gets him out." Blackburn explained.

"Great, so our team doc is against the kid too?" Ray said.

"Not necessarily, if we can get him to agree to hold off on making his final opinion until Spenser has had a chance to heal." Blackburn said.

"He thought they were going to do this, I told the kid we wouldn't let it happen. His asthma is only in the first stage, he can still operate with it. And his injuries can heal and with physical therapy his arm will be fine." Jason said.

"Upper Brass said it was a combination of everything, including his allergies and how difficult it will be for the Doc to figure out what medications he can and can't take." Blackburn said.

"Oh so he's a hassle, but they didn't care enough about his allergies to allow him his own medical kit. They don't get to hold it against him, anyone could have medical allergies." Sonny said.

"And it's just a matter of talking with Clay and figuring out what he can and can't take." Trent said.

"What if we switched doctors?" Jason asked.

"Someone in the Upper Brass would have to approve. The new Doc and the old Doc would have to agree to it as well. I know Dr. Roberts would be all for leaving like I said. I could find an Admiral that likes to fight for the underdog, we have a couple of them. The biggest challenge would be finding a doctor that would want to move into the position and would be supportive of Clay." Blackburn explained.

"Clay is still in contact with his old Doc in California. Dr. Roth, he still checks in on Clay and Clay even just said he was going to reach out and let Dr. Roth know what is going on so he can double check the results. Dr. Roth took the time to figure out what medications Clay can take and what he can't. He even sends Clay his prescription for medical marijuana."

"Whoa wait, what?" Sonny asked.

"That's actually really smart." Trent said.

"Pot? Pot is smart?" Ray asked, confused.

"The marijuana you get on the street is all THC, it gets you high. But the medical stuff comes from a different part of the plant. It has high levels of CBD and very low levels of THC. So you can use it as a painkiller, sleep aid, nausea and more. It would replace Clay having to take additional medication, medication that he could be allergic too and might not know it yet." Trent explained.

"Dr. Roth was also concerned with Clay being able to only take one strong painkiller, that his body would get used to it and reduce its effect. He recommended that Clay only take the painkiller when the pain was extreme and use the marijuana to help manage it." Jason added.

"And it works?" Brock asked.

"Clay says it does. What if we could get Dr. Roth to switch?" Jason asked Blackburn.

"I've heard of him, the Upper Brass has been trying to get him here for years now. He's younger, only thirty-five, but he is very good. One of the best the military has. Dr. Roth is very active within the military community, he often volunteers to go overseas and work on the bases. He prides himself on having a connection with all of his patients and continues to check in on them even after they are no longer in the military. If we could get him to switch, he would fight for Spenser and he wouldn't give us any problems with going on operations or tour with you." Blackburn said.

"Is that viable?" Jason asked.

"I'll reach out and see."

"How was the kid?" Ray asked.

"Not too good. He hadn't slept last night, you could clearly see it. He's struggling with what he learned about himself last night. He's feeling like he's guilty and should be ashamed of who he is. Like he's not a good person anymore."

"That's to be expected. People who are a product of rape often feel like it's their fault they were born. Someone who is a product of rape, but also incest, it's even worse. It's going to take him a long time before he comes to grips with it and can live with it. It's going to destroy his self-esteem though. He's going to feel like he doesn't deserve to be cared for, to be treated with respect, like he's worth nothing. It's going to be a serious problem Boss." Trent said.

"I know and that problem gets worse. I was able to get him to open up a little about growing up. His grandparents were abusive towards him." Jason said, with anger still bubbling below the surface.

"Abusive how?" Sonny asked, sadly.

"They never laid a hand on him, but the mental and emotional abuse was bad. His place is so clean and organized, because since he can remember he had to keep the house that way. If he accidentally broke a dish or made a mess he was punished. They would stand him in the corner and they would make him keep his arms out straight while holding weights. Sometimes it was for hours and he could barely move his arms the next few days. They never said I love you, they never hugged him, if he was sick he was on his own. There were no bedtime stories or getting tucked in even. He's never had a present. Never had a birthday, he said he didn't even know when his birthday was until he was eighteen and found his birth certificate. No holidays, not even the little ones. In fact when he was in grade one he found out about Santa. His grandparents told him if he was a good boy then Santa would bring him presents. He went down that Christmas morning to no presents, his grandparents told him he must not have been good enough to try again next year. They did that for years until he was ten when they told him there was no Santa."

"Oh my god." Ray said, feeling sick to his stomach just listening to this.

He could picture little Clay running down the stairs Christmas morning looking for presents only to never find them. Year after year of trying to be on his best behaviour only to ever get disappointed. It was just heartbreaking and cruel.

"How the hell does someone do that to a child? Ya ok, your son did something horrific to your daughter and she took her own life, but that's not his fault. If they couldn't accept him and love him, they should have let him go to a family that would have loved him." Sonny said.

"Family's dirty secret, probably didn't want it to get out. Doesn't make it any less cruel. It's going to be a long time before he recovers from all of this." Trent said.

"We'll get him there." Brock said.

"We will get him there. He's got us no matter what comes from this. Trent, he wants to go and get tested to see if he's even a match for Maddie. I told him you would want to be there."

"Completely. I want to make sure that Clay understands all of the risks involved. I know she's only four, but this could put Clay into a coma or kill him if given the wrong medication."

"Go with him and get all of the information and if Clay is a match we can go from there. I don't know what he's going to do, but I have a feeling if he is a match he'll do it." Jason said.

"Probably, can't see him not. This is a little girl's life on the line, there's no way he's going to just stand around and let her die." Sonny said.

"Don't blame him, but we have to make sure he is going to pull through it too." Ray said.

"The kid also found out that he has a protein deficiency as well." Jason said.

"Too much or too little?" Trent asked.

"Too little. His body isn't absorbing it like normal and it is making him heal slower. The Doc told him to eat more protein."

"He's got muscle mass though, so it's not like he doesn't eat healthy. Why would his body not be absorbing it?" Ray asked Trent.

"Normally there is an underlying cause with his liver. Did the Doc want any tests?"

"Said everything was normal, no underlying cause at all. It's probably connected to how his DNA is playing in his body."

"Most likely, he's bound to have some abnormalities. I'll talk to him about an eating plan that will include higher protein foods and some powders and bars. I'll keep an eye on it." Trent said.

"Is there anything we can do for the kid?" Sonny asked.

"Not right now. He was going to get some sleep when I left. I told him that Trent would probably call or text later to check in. He seems to be coming around a bit more. He thought I would be redacting our offer to join Bravo. I made it very clear to him that we weren't. We got a long road to go, but I think we finally stepped on the path." Jason said.

"Good, that's good." Sonny said, happy with that for now.

"I'll get to work on Dr. Roth and finding us an Admiral that will vouch for Spenser." Blackburn said.

"And we all have a lot of paperwork that is outstanding." Ray said.

Sonny groaned and the guys could all agree with him, but that was part of their job. At least for now Clay seemed to be letting them in and they were slowly working their way towards building that relationship and trust.

XXX

Clay and Trent sat in Dr. Keith's office waiting to hear what the results of his blood work would be. Trent had wanted to ask questions, but Dr. Keith, Maddie's doctor, wanted to wait until they knew for certain that Clay would be a match. He didn't see the point in discussing any what ifs that could be pointless. The past couple of days had been hard on Clay. He was finding that he was exhausted all the time, no matter how much he slept he just couldn't find the strength or energy to get up. As a result he wasn't eating much and he was getting stiff and sore from being in bed for so long.

"How have you been feeling?" Trent asked.

"Honestly, I don't even know how to answer that." Clay said with nothing but pure exhaustion to his voice.

"That's to be expected. You've been through a lot in the past few weeks. I'd be a little worried if you could answer that with confidence."

"Have you ever gone through something and you thought it was one thing, you made peace with it and moved on. Only to find out that it was something completely different and now you have to figure out how to make peace with it all over again?"

Trent knew exactly what Clay was talking about. He had made peace with how his grandparents were with him growing up. Now he knew the truth and he had to try and make peace with knowing it was abuse and not just cold people raising a child. Trent rolled up his sleeve on his right arm, revealing the scars there. Clay had never seen it before and he could instantly tell it was from an explosion. It looked like Trent was lucky he didn't lose his arm.

"Before I was in Bravo I was a medic on Seal Team Seven. I had been on the team for a year; we were on an op in Afghanistan. We were chasing after a bomber and we knew there would be explosives everywhere. We weren't worried though because our number three was an EOD specialist. We were in the stronghold and Mac had been going through clearing the doors. We had all divided up as Mac cleared the doors. So when it was my turn to go through a door I asked Mac if he cleared it, he said he did. I reached out and opened it and everything went black. I woke up in Germany with my arm on fire, no pain meds could touch it. They had to sedate me for another two weeks because of the pain. The next time I woke up I was Stateside again. Our commander told me that the hostiles must have placed something on the door after Mac checked it. Mac was torn up about it, I easily forgave him. I was pissed, but I forgave him, it wasn't his fault. I made peace with it after some work. I discovered about two years later that my commander had lied to me. Mac had a drinking problem that we didn't know about. He was intoxicated on that op, he hadn't checked the door, he just thought he did."

"Shit, he get discharged?"

When you went out on a mission the only thing you could know for certain was that your teammates had your back. It was a sacred rule that they all lived by. To go on a mission intoxicated and then not be able to remember what door you checked for an IED, it was insane. Trent was lucky he wasn't killed that night.

"Nope. Our commander had known him since he was a kid so he covered it up. I had been accepted into Green Team that week and a week later I was in Green Team and away from them. I had to deal with it though all over again. And when I was drafted into Bravo it took a bit before I could truly trust them. It took a long time though before I could make peace with what happened that day and it only brought up the memories. Waking up that first time Stateside, I was told I might never be able to move my arm again, that they might have to take it still. Then it was I would never be able to return back to active duty with it. I fought every day to improve my arm, to get it back to where it needed to be. All of the pain I went through, it was all worth it because I got to return to what I love. You'll be able to too Clay."

"I hope so. I'm glad you came out of it." Clay said with a small smile.

"Me too." Trent said with his own smile back. "You can always talk to me though Clay, no matter when or what it is. I'll always listen, and no judgment or lectures."

"I appreciate that." Clay said sincerely.

There was a knock at the door before it opened and a doctor walked in. Trent had no idea who this doctor was, but Clay did.

"Dr. Roth, what are you doing here?"

"I received a call from Commander Blackburn informing me that you were thinking about donating bone marrow in your current condition. I wasn't about to let you do that without me being present. You are my patient still." Dr. Roth took a moment to really look at Clay before he spoke again. "You look like shit."

Dr. Roth held his hand out to Trent as he spoke. "Dr. Mark Roth."

"Trent Sawyer." Trent said, as he shook Dr. Roth's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you. I've heard of some impressive things about you. We might be getting to work alongside each other."

"What do you mean?" Clay asked.

"I've been offered a position as the new Bravo team doctor."

"Wait what? Really? I thought you loved being in California though, and what about your husband?" Clay said.

"Divorced, six months now. He got sick of all of the travel I was doing. All the late nights, can't say I blame him. Working here would be a promotion, more money, and I would get to travel with the same team and keep you all healthy and active. I could also go out on tour and operations with you. It's a great career opportunity and my family is all out this way too. I'd really like to be in my nieces and nephews' lives again and not just on video chat."

"Sorry about your husband. It's good though that you might be here. I know how much your family means to you and I know you've missed out on a lot with them. Your nieces and nephews are still really young so you will be able to have fun with them and watch em grow up in person." Clay said warmly.

"Are you considering it?" Trent asked.

"See what the Brass has to say about it. If everything sounds solid, then ya I'll make the transfer. It'll be a month before I can relocate, I have to get my patients handed over to another doctor. Plus pack everything and find a house, but it could be worth it. I would like to be more involved and being in Virginia Beach would allow me to do that. You know this is all very dangerous and stupid right?" Dr. Roth said, getting back to the reason they were here.

"She's four and is AB negative. You know how rare that is and given my DNA, I'm more likely to be a match for her. I need to know if I am and then I'll figure out the rest."

"Fine, but I'm not leaving. Dr. Keith is a great doctor, I'm sure, but he has only one interest at heart, his patient. I am here for your best interest. If you are a match he's going to try and downplay the dangers to you."

There was a knock at the door before Dr. Keith walked in. You could tell he was surprised to see another doctor in here. Dr. Roth spoke as he held his hand out to Dr. Keith.

"Dr. Roth, I'm Spenser's doctor."

"Dr. Keith." Dr. Keith said before he turned his attention to Clay. "I have good news Spenser, you are a perfect match for Maddie. We could do the bone marrow donation today."

"Potentially. Spenser has a lot of allergies to medications, allergies that tend to be very extreme and life threatening. He is also injured as you can see, and his lungs are still compromised. It would be safer for him to wait a couple of months when his body and lungs have a chance to heal." Dr. Roth said; he was not about to put Clay in a spot he wasn't ready for.

"And I am sympathetic to his injuries and what he has clearly been through. We can work around the allergies, that's no problem at all. Maddie doesn't have months, she has days left. Spenser is her last hope of living."

"How would the bone marrow be extracted?" Clay asked.

"We would put you as an outpatient and take you down into a procedure room. You would be on your stomach generally, but with your arm we could have you on your side. We give you a general anesthesia so you don't feel any pain and we use hollow needles to extract the marrow from the back of your pelvic bone. Afterwards you will wake up in recovery and later on you can go home tonight."

"And under normal circumstances that would be simple, but Spenser has never had anesthesia. We have no idea how his body will react to it and that is before you factor in the risk with his lungs being compromised. And before you suggest it, he is allergic to epidurals. He was in a coma for three weeks from the reaction to it." Dr. Roth said. It wasn't that he didn't want to save this little girl, he did, but Clay's allergies made it so dangerous for him to be doing this.

"If you are unwilling to go under anesthesia, and I can understand that with his allergies there is no guarantee that he won't have a negative reaction. The only other way he could donate would be awake and clean."

"You want to extract bone marrow from him without any numbing or pain medication. That's torture." Trent instant said.

"It's not comfortable I know, but we are talking about a little four year old girl. She has days left to live and you could give her another eighty or ninety years. As a soldier you risk your life all the time in the field, but you do it to save innocent lives. I'm asking you to do something uncomfortable and painful to save one more innocent little girl's life." Dr. Keith said as he looked right at Clay.

"You don't get to guilt trip him. You want him to consent to being tortured so you can save your patient. Only his body is compromised because he just got tortured. You don't get to try and guilt trip him into this." Trent said with an edge to his voice.

"We need time to think this over." Dr. Roth said.

"I'll give you a few minutes, but we need a decision soon. Maddie doesn't have long." Dr. Keith said, as he stood and left.

Clay let out a sigh. He had no idea what to do about any of this and the problem was, he was too exhausted to even think. His whole body was exhausted and in pain, he just wanted to be back home in his bed.

Dr. Roth spoke as he went and sat down in the chair that Dr. Keith had been using.

"Spenser, I know your initial reaction will be to do this to save her."

"My initial reaction right now is that I want to go to bed. I just want to hide away in my bed until the world doesn't feel so dark." Clay cut him off.

They could both hear how exhausted and done Clay was, but they could also hear the depression in his voice. The darkness of his situation was seeping in and they both knew it would be all too easy for Clay to slip underneath it and never come out.

"After what you went through in Afghanistan and what you have just discovered about the circumstances around your birth. It is perfectly normal and natural for you to be feeling this way. For you to be seeing the world in a darker hue. You will be going through a lot of different emotions Clay and one of them will be depression. Now depression long term is dangerous, but short term it's ok. You need to allow yourself to feel however you feel that day. And if that means you spend the day resting in bed, then that is what you do. I need a promise from you though." Dr. Roth said gently.

"What?"

"That if that depression gets too deep, that if you start thinking about ending your life. You need to tell me or someone. I need you to promise me that you will talk to someone if you reach that point. Even if it is just a fleeting thought that runs through your mind."

"I promise." Clay said with a small nod.

"You can talk to any of us Clay. Or any guy on one of the teams, or the trainers, Blackburn, anyone. We will always be there if you need to talk. Derek is right across the hall from you or Trish is there, she'll always be willing to talk. Same as any of our girlfriends or wives. Every team is a family, but all of us are a brotherhood and we are there for each other no matter what it is." Trent said.

Clay gave a nod and Dr. Roth knew he needed some time to get his mind around that one.

"This transplant is dangerous Spenser. It will also be very painful. You won't be able to have anything but some pain medication to help take the edge off. You will be in pain for the next week until your body recovers from it. The whole process of extracting the bone marrow can take roughly twenty minutes, possibly fifteen if Dr. Keith goes fast. I can't tell you what to do. What I can tell you is that I wouldn't recommend it. I think your body is in enough pain you don't need to introduce more, but ultimately it is your choice and I will be there the whole time if you do agree to it." Dr. Roth explained.

"I'll do it."

"Clay." Trent started, but Clay cut him off.

"She's four years old. She deserves to have a chance at a life. I can suffer through twenty minutes of pain so she can live. She shouldn't have to suffer because of the actions of others. Let one good thing come from this whole mess."

"Are you sure?" Dr. Roth asked.

"Ya, just get me in and out as soon as possible. I don't want to be here any longer then I need to be."

"Alright. I'll go and speak with Dr. Keith and let him know. Trent, if you could take Spenser down to outpatient procedures and start getting him checked in that would be great."

"I got him." Trent said.

They all got up and headed off to where they needed to be. Trent wasn't happy that Clay was going to be putting himself through this, but he could also understand his need for something good to come from all of the pain he had been in. Once he got Clay set up in the outpatient department with Dr. Roth there with him, he headed out to meet up with the guys in the waiting room. He could tell they were all anxious to know what the hell was going on. They had been gone for about three hours and by now they were all climbing the walls. He saw that Derek, Blackburn, Full Metal and Adam had joined the guys. Trent walked over to them and held his hand up to stop their questions before they even asked.

"He's a perfect match and has agreed to do it. Dr. Roth is going to be in there with him the whole time while Dr. Keith does the extraction. The problem is because of his allergies he is allergic to epidurals and he has never had anesthesia. So he has to do it with nothing but pain meds to get him through."

"Bone marrow extraction is extremely painful though. Pain medication isn't going to be enough while they are extracting it." Adam said.

"He knows. It's medical torture, but it's the only way. If we had a few months to wait for Clay's lungs to heal then we could have risked a light anesthesia, but Maddie only has days left and with her blood type being so rare Clay is her only hope. They are preparing him right now, Dr. Roth is going to get him in and out as quickly as possible, hopefully within fifteen minutes. Afterwards he'll have to stay here for six or seven hours until the pain calms down and then we can get him home."

"Can he have someone in there with him?" Sonny asked.

"I asked, we can have one person in there with him. Clay said he would be fine on his own, but someone needs to be there with him. Someone needs to hold his hand and let him scream and squeeze it as much as he needs."

"I'll go." Sonny offered.

"You get squeamish around blood and needles." Brock pointed out.

"I'll go." Ray said.

"Or me, the kid knows me better than you guys." Adam offered.

"I think that's the point though. Clay's spent time alone with Brock, Jase and Trent now. This let's him spend some time alone with me and gives us a chance to bond. Then Sonny could have time alone with him when he needs a ride home at the end. I think we need the small moments one on one with Clay to get him used to us being there for him." Ray said.

"I agree. Clay is better when it's one on one at first. He was like that in Green Team. You swarm him and he will clam up and push you away, but if you do it one at a time and slowly build up to it, he doesn't even notice." Adam said.

"Alright, Ray you go be with him and the rest of us will get started on what he will need. We'll make sure his place is cleaned, he's got food and clean clothes. Brock, when does the puppy get to come home?" Jason asked.

"In two weeks, but he'll be too sore to sit in the car after this still. I can pick him up and bring him to Clay." Brock answered.

"He'll need supplies for the puppy too." Derek added.

"We can worry about that in two weeks. Let's get him through this first." Blackburn said.

"We also need to keep an eye on him and check in at least once a day, even just a text. Or Derek you popping by. He's reached the depression stage. He just wants to be in bed all day, but he's not truly resting. He said the world is just dark." Trent informed.

"After what he went through, being depressed is natural." Full Metal said.

"It is, but it's also dangerous if it goes on too long. He did promise that he would reach out to any of us or our family if he felt like he wanted to end his life. Or even thought about it for a moment. He knows how dangerous it can be. He needs to talk to someone, and soon before it does get bad." Trent said.

"We'll have to approach that subject with him soon. Let's get him home first and check in on him. If he's not improving we can talk to him about it. He'll have to be cleared by a Shrink anyways before he could even come back." Jason said.

"When he's not in so much pain he might start to feel better too." Sonny added.

"And having the dog can be really good for him. Especially if he is looking to stay in bed. He won't be able to with the puppy, he'll have to take him out for a walk at least once a day." Brock said.

"Dogs can be very good for Vets who suffer from depression or PTSD, it gives them a companion but also a purpose. Best thing he might have done was get a dog." Blackburn said.

"There was one other thing I noticed. Clay had to fill out the form for the procedure. I saw his birth date was October 14th, 1994. Making him twenty-three and not twenty-seven like everyone has been led to believe." Trent said.

Everyone turned to look at Adam and Blackburn to see what the hell was going on. Clay never said he was twenty-seven, everyone was going off of the assumption that he was based on what they heard in Green Team.

"I don't know anything about this." Blackburn said, as he turned to look at Adam.

Adam let out a sigh, he had a feeling this was going to come out someday. "Trent's right, he's twenty-three. And before you get mad at him, it wasn't his idea to hide his age. It was mine and Big Chef's when he first got into Green Team."

"Why?" Ray asked.

"Screw why, how the hell was he even allowed in Green Team. Twenty-seven was too young, most are thirty when they get their shot at it." Sonny pointed out.

"Clay has a lot of skill and despite the high number of Upper Brass that don't like him, they also like to use him. Clay looks good for politics and to push your career higher. His language skills, as you know, are off the charts. He knows ten languages, plus his tactical strategies are very impressive and his shooting is remarkable. I mean the kid can hit a target with one shot while running away. He's got a serious gift, especially his mind. We didn't want people to judge him based on his age, especially when they were already going to judge him based on his name. So we told him to say he was twenty-seven should anyone ask."

"How did he even get into Green Team though?" Jason asked. There was a reason you had to have so many years of experience to even qualify for Green Team and that was because age did matter. You didn't need twenty year olds seeing the shit that they see.

"The instructors knew early on in Boot Camp that the kid was a prodigy. He aced everything they threw at him. He caught the eye of some officials and after three weeks he was graduating Boot Camp and being placed into Buds, where he met Brian. From Buds he went with Brian into Seal Team Three at eighteen. Within three years he was up to 2IC and leading them. He was set to take over the 1IC spot within a couple of years. But he always wanted to be a Tier One operator and when the opportunity came up for him to go into Green Team he took it. He is highly skilled." Adam said proudly.

"Ya too bad he's too young to be seeing this shit." Sonny said.

"It's too late now, he graduated and is here. All we can do is be there for him afterwards." Jason said.

He wasn't too happy with Clay being twenty-three. Twenty-seven was bad enough, but now he was even younger and that came with a whole other group of problems. Something they would just have to work through as they came up.

"I'll call Vic, she can start on cooking up some food that the kid can reheat." Adam said, as he pulled his phone out.

"Ray you get to Clay, Trent you wait here and keep us updated. The rest of us will get started." Jason said.

With that they all went their own separate ways to get done what they needed to so Clay would be set when he got home. Normally they would have done this when he was brought back home the first time, but Clay was so injured they didn't have that chance. Now they did and they were going to make sure he was all set.

Ray and Trent made their way down to where Clay would be. Trent had to wait in the waiting room while Ray headed into the procedure room after getting on the proper sanitary protection. Dr. Roth gave Ray a nod as he walked in and Ray made his way over to Clay, who was laying on his right side with his left arm tucked beside him in his sling. The surprise that went across Clay's face at seeing him only made Ray feel worse. Clay actually thought they would listen and let him go through this on his own. Ray sat down on the metal stool and took Clay's good hand in his.

"You didn't actually think we would let you do this alone did you?" Ray said with a warm smile.

"Apparently not. You get the short straw?"

"Naw brother, we all wanted to be here for you. Trent would be looking at what they are doing. Sonny gets squeamish around needles and blood and chances are you would be picking him up off the floor. Brock is playing our favorite game in a hospital, hide Cerberus. And we figured you wouldn't want Jason, someone that is your boss, in here with you. Though Jason really wanted to be here, but I thought you might like me over him."

"Good call."

"Ok Spenser, we are going to get started now. You are going to feel a pinch from the needle and then a lot of pressure and pain. I know it will be hard but you need to try and stay as still as possible to prevent any damage." Dr. Keith said.

"If the pain gets too much for you just let us know and Dr. Keith will stop and wait until you are able to continue." Dr. Roth added.

He was not going to let Dr. Keith come in here and railroad Clay into enduring the pain all at once. If Clay needed a beak, they were taking one. Clay just gave a nod and Dr. Keith began. Ray placed his other hand over Clay's hand that he was already holding.

"How do you hide Cerb?" Clay asked, looking for some form of a distraction.

"He's a lot better at it now. Normally we'll hide him under a chair or behind a corner, under a bed if one of us is staying. We don't have to do it in the military hospital anymore, they are used to him. But civilian hospitals we do. At first he was terrible at it." Ray said with a warm smile at the memories. "Brock used to hide him and the second a person would walk by he would come out of his hiding spot and try to get a pet, before he would go back into his hiding spot. But he would do it thinking we couldn't see him."

Clay gave a groan as the needle went even deeper into him. Clay let out a shaky breath as the pain started to kick up to a whole new level. He was doing everything he could to stay still, but it was not easy.

"I know it hurts, but once the needle is in your bone, Dr. Keith only has to change the vial." Dr. Roth said, as he placed his hands on Clay's hips to make sure he didn't move. The very last thing Clay needed was complications from this. He had a long enough recovery he didn't need anymore to go with it.

Clay couldn't help the small scream that escaped his lips as he felt the needle starting to pierce his bone. Ray held onto Clay's hand and moved his other hand up to Clay's hair.

"I got you brother. Squeeze my hand as hard as you need."

Clay couldn't believe how bad it was hurting. It felt like his whole body was on fire and it was only getting worse. The more the pressure increased the more the stabs of pain shot through his body, all up his spine. It was making his back hurt worse and his chest was getting tight.

"Stop." Clay managed to choke out.

Dr. Roth placed his hand on Dr. Keith to keep him from going any further.

"Talk to me Clay, what are you feeling." Dr. Roth said.

"Chest is tight." Clay ground out.

"The pain is probably agitated your lung damage and asthma." Dr. Roth said, as he walked around and put on his stethoscope to listen to Clay's breathing.

"Spenser, I need to make sure you stay as still as possible while I have the needle still in you. I'm not going to move, but I am in your bone so try and stay nice and still." Dr. Keith said calmly.

"How much longer?" Ray asked Dr. Keith, as Dr. Roth listened to Clay's breathing.

"I am halfway through his bone and once I hit his marrow the pain will lessen slightly. Once I start extracting the marrow it will only be five minutes and then I can start to pull the needle out."

"Your asthma is getting irritated with the pain your body is going through. I have your inhaler, I need you to take two puffs." Dr. Roth said.

He pulled out an inhaler and got it ready for Clay. He moved the inhaler over to Clay's mouth and he helped him to use it. After doing it twice Dr. Roth moved it back and Clay could feel the tightness in his chest getting better. The pain was still extreme, but he could breathe better.

"How is that?" Dr. Roth asked.

"Better. I'm good."

"You sure?" Ray asked.

"Ya, keep going."

Clay wanted the pain to end, but the only way to make that happen would be to have the needle out. Dr. Keith continued to push the needle through his bone as Dr. Roth moved back around to hold Clay still. Clay thought the pain couldn't get any worse, but it did. His body was trembling by the time Dr. Keith was pulling the needle out. His whole body was on fire and his stomach was not happy. If he had bothered with eating anything this morning, Clay was sure he would have thrown up. Clay closed his eyes and did his best to try and get the pain down. Ray ran his hand through Clay's hair and he could feel Clay shaking.

"What happens now?" Ray asked, as Clay tried to get the pain under control.

"Now we will get him into the outpatient recovery room and we will monitor him for the next five or six hours. If everything goes well he can go home tonight to rest up. He'll be fully recovered within a week." Dr. Keith said.

"Normally, but with Clay's body being injured beforehand and his protein deficiency it might take two weeks before he is fully healed up." Dr. Roth added.

"So he just needs rest then." Ray said.

"Best thing for him." Dr. Roth agreed.

Ray gave a nod and he stayed with Clay the whole time he was moved from the procedure room to his recovery area. Once Clay was set up Dr. Keith left to get the bone marrow within Maddie, leaving Dr. Roth to handle Clay. Dr. Roth pulled out a baggie from his pocket that had Clay's inhaler in it, but also a lighter and two joints as well.

"This will help you with the pain and nausea. Smoke one now and later you can always do the second one if you need it." Dr. Roth said, as he handed the bag over to Ray.

"He can smoke it in here?" Ray asked.

"He can. I have to go for a meeting at the base, but I will be back to check in on him. Call me if something happens though." Dr. Roth said, as he handed Ray his card. "And do not let them give him anything unless I clear it."

"Copy that."

"I'll be back soon Spenser, just smoke the joint and try and sleep it off." Dr. Roth said, as he placed a hand on Clay's leg.

Clay gave a small nod, his eyes still closed. Dr. Roth left and Ray got the joint out and lit it.

"Here brother." Ray said, as he handed it over to Clay.

Clay opened his eyes just barely and took the joint. He took a puff before he spoke.

"Thanks. You don't have to stay you know, I'll be ok. I'm sure you have something better to do."

"I got nothing more important than this. Sonny is gonna be pissed he missed out on a joint." Ray said with a smirk.

"It doesn't get you high."

"Not even a little? I know it's mostly CBD, but there is a small amount of THC in it."

"Not enough to make you high, won't even really come up in a test. Did you know that a few years ago a bank did a full drug screen on all of their employees down in Texas. Twenty of them came back with cocaine in their system. They swore they never touched the drug. Turned out they were innocent."

"How did the cocaine get in their system then?"

Ray didn't know if the marijuana would make Clay talk more or if he was talking to try and get his mind off from the pain. Either way Ray was happy to chat.

"The news of it hit the paper and that got the police interested. Turns out that bank was used as a cartel's bank and the cartel's people would deposit the money into the bank through the tellers. But the money was around their cocaine they were making and selling. So everytime the teller had to touch and count the money their skin absorbed some of the cocaine residue. The police were able to shut the cartel down and the bank hired the people back and gave them a bonus for the accusations."

"Wow, that's crazy. Makes me wonder just how many times I've touched money that could have trace amounts on it."

"Eighty percent of one dollar bills will have trace amounts of cocaine and feces on it."

"Ew, are you serious?" Ray was shocked. He knew money was dirty, you had no idea who had touched it before you, but he had no idea it was that dirty.

"Yup, it's why I like to not have it."

"I let Jameelah touch money all the time if we are out. She'll hand it over to pay. Or she'll get a dollar for her piggy bank."

"You know they make virtual piggy banks now. It's still a piggy bank that she can see, but it plugs into a computer and you just transfer money into the piggy bank from your bank. It will show how much is in it on the display on the side of the bank. It'll even connect wirelessly so other family or friends can put money into it for birthdays or holidays."

"I didn't know that. That's cool. I should talk with Naima about it. Jameelah would like that, because Naima's family is always getting her gift certificates to places she hates or is too old for now. She would love that."

"Hm." Clay said, as his eyes closed and he took another puff on the joint.

"Is that helping?"

"It does and I don't have to worry about any negative reactions. It can make me tired though." Clay said.

"I can see that. You don't ever fall asleep with it lit though right?"

"No, I make sure I don't."

That was good. The last thing they needed to worry about was Clay falling asleep with a lit joint. They didn't need Clay getting trapped in a fire. Once Clay was finished with the joint Ray took it and made sure the joint was out before he put what was left in the bag. Clay was already asleep so Ray sat back and waited until Clay would be able to leave.

XXX

It was five hours later when Clay started to wake up. He noticed that his stomach was no longer upset, something that he was happy about. The pain wasn't as extreme as before, but it was still pretty bad. Clay knew it was going to be worse once he started to move around. Clay slowly opened his eyes to see that it was Sonny sitting in the chair and not Ray.

"Welcome back Sleeping Beauty, how you feeling?"

"A bit better. Where's Ray?"

"He had to handle something so I came and swapped out with him. Got some good news though, Dr. Roth has been checking in on you and he's cleared you to leave once you woke up."

"I can leave?"

"You can Little Buddy. If you are feeling up to it."

"Not really, but I want my bed so I'll get up to it."

Sonny gave him a smile as he stood up. He grabbed Clay's shoes as he spoke.

"Let's get you up and out of here."

Clay took in a breath before he slowly pushed himself up. Sonny stayed very close, his hands hovering over Clay's body to be ready to help him should he need it. Clay went to try and get his shoe on, but bending over caused severe pain all across Clay's lower back, causing him to groan.

"Here let me help." Sonny said, as he took the shoe from Clay's limp hand.

Sonny helped Clay to get his shoes on and then he placed his arm around Clay's waist and helped him to stand up. Clay leaned into Sonny's hold as the room spun for a moment. Sonny didn't move, just waited until Clay was ready. After a moment Clay opened his eyes and gave a small nod.

"We'll go as slow as you need brother."

Clay gave a nod. "Ready."

They went slow, as Sonny knew Clay was hurting. They didn't have to go far because the recovery for the outpatient department had their own entrance and Sonny was able to park nice and close in the pick up zone. When they got to his truck Sonny helped Clay get up into it before he helped to get him buckled in before closing the door and making his way over to his side. Clay leaned back as well as he could and closed his eyes.

"Let me know if you need me to stop or if you feel sick."

"Don't feel sick, just tired and hurting. I promise I won't yammy in your nice truck."

"You would not be the first to throw up in this truck, don't even worry about that. And soon enough we will be back at your place where you can rest up."

Sonny got his truck in gear and headed out. He gave Clay a few moments of silence to see if he would talk or not. After a few minutes Sonny decided to break that silence and see if he could get Clay to chat a bit with him. He knew from Ray that the kid had talked a bit with him and was good with Ray being there for the procedure. Sonny was hoping to start building up that bond with Clay.

"Heard Dr. Roth accepted the promotion to join Bravo as our permanent doc."

"Good for him. He deserves it. And his family will be really happy to have him back home again. He's a really good guy."

"Ya he seems like it. He was already calling Trent and asking about our medical history and what Trent does in the field with us, his own skills. He seems like he is going to be very involved in our health."

"He's like that. He likes to see his patients even if they are healthy. He always said the number one goal a doctor should have is to keep his patients active for as long as possible. He takes it very seriously and it's not just injuries, but mental health and overall physical health including diet. He's helped guys be able to go back to work after all of the other docs had said they couldn't. He finds a way if you want to put the work in."

"That sounds like a Doc we could all use. I know we're all healthy, but some of us are getting up there in age. Be good to have a fresh set of eyes check us over and see if there is something else we could be doing better to stay active longer."

"Didn't know you guys were looking to make a switch."

"Well, Dr. Roberts has been looking to retire from the teams for a few years now, but no one was ever good enough to take his place. The way you talked about Dr. Roth to Jase, got him interested. Turned out Blackburn had heard about him and he came very highly recommended. Plus he wants to be on tour and going on ops, just made sense. Plus, you'll be back with us once you're all healed up, it made sense to have a Doc around that knew you and your allergies."

"Might not be back though."

"You can't think like that Clay. I am a firm believer that you achieve what you can dream. If you think you will never be able to get back into active status, you won't. You need that mindframe and you'll achieve it. Besides, we're all here for you and will be there to make sure you achieve it."

"Didn't take you for the mind over matter type."

"Well I am. With what we all survive on this job I have to be. It's the only way to push your body through days of no sleep and aches from running. Our bodies go through a lot and sometimes all you have is your willpower to keep going. Never give that up Clay." Sonny said with strength to his voice.

"I'm trying." Clay said softly.

"I know you are Little Buddy. I've seen some dark days myself and sometimes it is hard to get through to the light again. But when you are surrounded by darkness that is when you need your brothers to most. They'll pull you out and get you back into that light. We never leave a man behind, no matter how dark or scary the place is."

"I'm just not used to people wanting to be in my life. I don't even know how Brian did it. I swear he was a magician. One minute he wasn't there and then the next he was always around and I didn't even notice it happening. Now he's gone and I don't know how to just let someone in." Clay admitted.

"It's not easy for anyone to let a stranger into their life. The bond we all have grows so fast because we build it in combat. We all have to trust the other's skills to keep us safe when we are out there. Some teams are happy to be just teammates, but us and most of the DEVGRU teams we want to be a family. We want each other to know that we're there for them and their family no matter what team you are on. You will get used to us being there and we will get better at easing you into it. We had to with Brock and now he loves being around all of us."

"Can you promise me something?"

"Always."

"Brian had a really important job, he would be the one to tell me if I was being a dick. Can you promise me that you'll always tell me if I'm being a dick?" Clay said with a small smile.

"That I can do, but you have to do the same. Because I can be quite dickish at times." Sonny said with his own smile.

"Deal."

They both shared a smile and Clay couldn't help but think that maybe Sonny wasn't too bad. He thought that Sonny would be loud and rude and just caveman like, it was what he gave off. But maybe, just maybe he wasn't so one dimensional and Clay was honestly curious about who Sonny Quinn truly was underneath the rough surface. They stayed in a comfortable silence for the rest of the drive and once at his place Sonny helped to get Clay out of his truck and up to his apartment. When Clay opened the door he was not expecting to see what he saw.

There was the rest of Bravo along with Derek, Full Metal and Adam. His place was cleaned, something he hadn't been keeping up with in the past couple of days with not feeling too great. He also saw the welcome home banner along the one wall. Last time when he had walked into his apartment to see a bunch of people he was pissed, this time though he didn't mind it too much. He knew they meant well.

"Hey kid, welcome home." Adam said warmly.

"Hey, what is all of this?" Clay asked, confused.

"This is what should have happened the last time you came home from the hospital, but we didn't get the chance. Normally when one of us is seriously injured everyone comes together to help set the person up." Jason explained.

"We made sure the whole place was cleaned and disinfected. You can't risk getting sick in your condition." Trent said.

"We also saw your extra TV in your bedroom, so we got it set up for you and the DVD player you had in there. Now you can watch some movies in bed or TV. We brought some movies for you to borrow too, because your's suck." Full Metal said.

"We also cooked you a bunch of food. Some of it is in the fridge and the rest is in the freezer. There are heating instructions on the container so you don't have to worry about it. We also got you some food as well, because you were seriously running low." Adam added.

"I don't even know what to say. You guys didn't have to do this. Thank-you." Clay said sincerely.

"It's what family does Sunshine." Jason said with a warm smile.

"We'll get out of your hair, you need rest. I'll come by and check in on you in a few days. Me and Big Chef are also working with Dr. Roth on getting a training schedule and routine ready for you when your arm is ready for some PT." Adam said with a warm smile.

"Should I be worried?" Clay said with a small smirk.

"Oh we're gonna get your ass back in shape and ready for ops. You're gonna need your rest." Adam said with a deadly smile.

"Now I'm scared." Clay joked.

Adam placed his hand on Clay's cheek and gave him a wink. "You're gonna be just fine kid."

Adam headed out to allow Clay the time to rest, because he looked like complete shit right now.

"We'll get out of here too. If you need anything, you know where I am." Derek said, as him and Full Metal headed by him and gave him a gentle pat on his good shoulder before leaving.

"Thank-you." Clay said as they headed out.

Clay looked at the others and he wasn't too sure they were going to be leaving.

"Don't worry we're leaving too. We just want to make sure you get all set up first." Ray said with a smile.

"You want your bed?" Sonny asked.

"God yes." Clay simply said.

Sonny helped to get Clay the short distance to his bedroom and Clay noticed that even his room had been cleaned.

"You guys might clean better than I do." Clay said, as he sat down on the bed and kicked his shoes off.

"Ya that would be Trent. He went a little anal on it." Sonny commented.

"I did not. He can't risk getting sick right now, it could put him in the hospital. Something we are trying to avoid. The apartment needed a deep clean. And we put everything back in its original place."

"Though we're gonna need to try and break you out of that habit. It's not really a good one." Jason said.

"Those are the hardest ones to break." Clay said, as he laid back with a groan.

Trent went over to the bed and picked up an extra pillow as he spoke. "Your ribs are still broken, so laying on your right side is going to hurt them more. If you have a pillow tucked under your hips it will help relieve the pressure from the extraction site."

Trent helped to get the pillow under Clay in the right position and Clay instantly felt the pressure decrease. He would be able to sleep on his back now and not on his side where it would hurt his ribs.

"Thank-you." Clay said.

"Heating pad will also help. I didn't know if you had one so I put one right beside you in the bedside stand. It just plugs in. If the pain gets extreme you need to call me. Or if you get a fever or sick at all, call me, because something could be seriously wrong." Trent said and Clay could tell he was worried about leaving him on his own.

"I will. I'm just gonna sleep, but if you are that worried and if it will make you feel better, you are welcome to chill on my couch." Clay offered, as he closed his eyes.

"I would feel better staying for a few hours just to make sure you are ok. That first day after the donation is when something could go wrong." Trent said.

Clay just gave a small nod and the others knew he was just about asleep.

"Rest up, we'll check in later Sunshine." Jason said, as he patted Clay's thigh.

The guys all headed out into the living room, Trent closed the bedroom door most of the way behind him.

"He gonna be ok?" Brock whispered.

"He should be just fine. He'll be sore for a few days but he'll recover from it." Trent whispered back.

"He seems to be warming up." Sonny commented.

"He does seem better with us. It's a start." Ray agreed.

"Brock, you're gonna pick up the pup if we're here?" Jason asked.

"I will get him."

"We'll pick up some supplies for the little guy. He gonna be ok with him?" Sonny asked.

"In two weeks he'll be fine to take care of him. He just won't be in any shape to sit in a car for four hours." Trent answered.

"Alright, we'll get out of here and let him sleep. Call if you need anything or if something happens." Jason said to Trent.

"I got him Boss." Trent promised.

"We know you do brother." Ray said, as he patted Trent's back.

The team headed out and Trent made his way over to Clay's bookshelf and picked up one of the medical books that Clay had. He then sat down on the couch and was ready should Clay need him.

XXX

It had been two weeks since Clay had gotten back home from the bone marrow donation. He did find that he was still sore where the extraction site was, but Trent and Dr. Roth assured him that was to be expected with his protein deficiency. Within the next week he should be pain free from it, something Clay was looking forward to. It would be nice to have one less thing that caused him pain. His back was still killing him, but his ribs were starting to get better if he didn't move a certain way. The bruising was gone now and his shoulder was going to be allowed to do some PT in two weeks. Clay was really looking forward to getting back into a normal routine, even if he wasn't ready to be active again. Even if he might never be cleared for it, at least he wouldn't be in pain and limited all the time.

Today he was a bit sad, because he was supposed to be picking up his puppy today, but with his back and his hips still being sore he wouldn't be able to do it. Physically sitting for so long was going to cause him to be in too much pain, so he would have to wait another week before he could pick up his puppy. He would have to go out this week to pick up what he needed for the little guy and make sure everything was ready for him to come home. It was around lunchtime and Clay was in his kitchen trying to figure out what he wanted to eat when there was a knock at his door.

"It's open."

Clay knew it was either Derek or one of the guys from the team. There was no point in going over there to open the door when they could just walk in. Over the past couple of weeks the guys had come by one at a time to check in and make sure he was alright. Clay was still getting used to it, and he had a long way to go, but he was appreciative of them. They never stayed long and they always asked if he needed something instead of assuming it. His front door opened and everyone from Bravo team walked in. Sonny was carrying two boxes of pizzas and Clay started to take out some drinks from the fridge for everyone. He wasn't going to argue this time, he could go for some pizza.

"Hey kid, how are ya?" Jason asked.

"Not bad. Standing and moving around a little easier today. That heating pad really helps."

"Good, that's good kid." Jason said warmly.

Brock was the last one to walk in and Clay couldn't stop the instant smile that went across his face at seeing Brock with not only Cerberus, but a puppy, his puppy. Clay went over as he spoke.

"You picked him up."

Clay bent down and Brock let the leash go. The puppy ran right over to Clay.

"I did. I know you couldn't go for another week, so I made the drive out to grab him for you. Hope you don't mind." Brock answered.

"Not at all. I guess I'll need to go to the store later to get you some things eh boy?" Clay said, as he cuddled the puppy.

"No need." Ray said, as he went out into the hallway with Sonny and came back in with some bags and a box.

"We all picked up some stuff and so did Alpha Team for him. You got enough food to last you the month and treats. Plus some toys and a bed for the little guy. That color and leash is his too." Jason explained.

"You guys, you didn't have to do that." Clay was shocked by all of this. He couldn't believe that they would do this for him. To go out of their way like this, especially when he could have just gone himself in a week.

"Hey this little puppy is now family and a part of this team. He gets to be spoiled just as much as Cerb is." Sonny said.

"Thank-you, it means a lot, truly." Clay said warmly.

"What's his name?" Brock asked.

"I've been thinking about that. I want a strong name, but one that suits him and maybe what is to come."

"Alright, so what did you come up with? Killer?" Sonny joked.

"No, Raider."

"Ooo, I like that." Sonny said with a big smile.

"Ya Raider, that's a great name for him." Jason said, as he bent down to pet Raider.

Raider was all too happy to be getting lots of attention as the guys took turns petting him and letting him get to know them. He was going to be around them a lot and if Clay did decide to train him to be a k9 partner, he would be practically living with them. Raider got tired of the pets though and went over to Cerberus and pawed him on his head before he bent down and wagged his tail. The guys all laughed as Cerberus just looked at Raider with this look that just screamed, seriously? Cerberus went over and picked up Raider gently in his mouth before walking him over to his bed that Sonny had placed on the floor in the living room. Cerberus then laid down next to the bed with his head on the edge of it so Raider could cuddle with him.

"Well that was adorable." Sonny commented.

"Raider thinks Cerb is his mother." Brock said.

"He don't know that Cerb is a he?" Sonny asked back.

"He's only three months old. All he knows is that his mother and siblings aren't here, but Cerb is. He'll imprint on Cerb, it's a good thing. Cerb will be able to teach him how to behave and he'll lose any bad habits he might pick up. Raider might change, but he might be more of a support k9 rather than a tactical one."

"All puppies like to cuddle. Don't matter, either way he's Bravo." Jason said warmly.

"We all are." Clay said.

The guys all looked at him and they could see the smile on his face. The guys all felt a warmth going through their chest. Clay had finally admitted to being a part of their family, of being a member of Bravo, even without the paperwork. He was healing. Yes, he had a lot of dark and hard days ahead of him and the guys all knew he was not out of that dark tunnel just yet. But he could at least see the light at the end and that was good enough for them right now. Today was a good day and they had every intention of making it stay that way.

"Let's eat." Trent said, as he went and grabbed some plates.

Clay went and sat down on the couch close to Cerb and Raider. He took the offered plate with two slices of pizza from Sonny, who then sat down next to him.

"You still need more furniture." Sonny commented.

"You might be right about that." Clay agreed.

The guys all got their pizza, Jason sat in the chair while Ray and Trent sat on the floor. Brock went and sat on the floor right next to the dogs, who were both trying to steal his pizza. Clay couldn't help but look around for a moment. He never thought he would ever truly have a family. He never thought he needed one, especially after spending so many years on his own. But now, sitting here in his apartment looking around at the faces that made up Bravo. He could honestly say that Adam was right, the team was a family and maybe, just maybe, that wasn't so bad after all.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Alright this ends book 2 in my Brother Series. Please review as it makes me all tingly inside! I will also be working on book 3 for this series called Courageous Brother. If you cannot tell, each new book will be the next letter in the alphabet and the story will have some type of plot that will revolve around an injury or something to do with that letter. So if there is an injury or situation you would like to see please let me know in a review and I'll see what I can do!


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